


Your Beast

by ShiHeTsu



Series: Your Beast [2]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Confusion, Domestic, Dreams, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M, Physical Therapy, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Roommates, Shinjuku apartment, Slow Burn, Wheelchairs, shock therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2018-12-09 19:18:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 42,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11675415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShiHeTsu/pseuds/ShiHeTsu
Summary: With a city that Izaya couldn't remember in his head and the animal haunting him in his dreams two years away in Kanto wasn't enough. Was the trauma of the "car" accident too much for his mind to wipe his memories?Leave to Orihara twins to give their brother the shock therapy to bring him back.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> Yes, I know that I neglected my MRtHY (｡•́︿•̀｡) ("More Reasons to Hate You") but believe me that the story there is more complex than I predicted in the first place. And also that I need to watch the whole show after the 1st season once again and for that I lack the time. So for those that are asking about a new chapters I have a small present.
> 
> This story just... write itself (with my small help). It's past 3 AM and for the last three/four hours I'm typing all the time! (ノ)ʘ﹃ʘ(ヾ) I've done a quick check of the grammar and spelling but please have mercy I'm really falling asleep here. And also I decided to post it now so after I'll wake up in the morning to not put it in one of my folders to "check it later". Besides there are less and less FF with Shizaya (what I'm going to do with my free time?(☉ε　⊙ﾉ)ﾉ)
> 
> Hope You'll enjoy~! o(≧∇≦o)

'You're home Iza-nii~!'

 

The happy voice of one of the twins woke Izaya up from the deep thoughts. Mairu passed a doorway as a first making circles around the living room. He looked around spacious apartments that he haven't been in around two years. The quite one from the twins was leading his wheelchair to the center of the apartment. He stared at the stairs that now have a lift for his wheelchair.

 

'Iza-nii...' he could hear Kururi's voice behind him.

 

With a hesitation he turned his head her way. Still he couldn't believe their story about him having siblings. It was as if his mind just wiped his memory of this place, of the twins and he assumed of a lot of other things. Mairu and Kururi had retrieved him from Kanto and brought back to Tokyo.

 

For a long time he was under the care of man called Kine and a girl Manami who was from time to time asking him weird questions. While Izaya had been recovering from his wounds after the car accident those two were his frequent and only visitors. While he had been in the hospital he had realized that he was really good with gathering information in his blank brain. At the first few days after he had woke up he was zoning out quite frequently. Each time he was stuck on the crossway in the middle of a big city with neon signs and big screens around him. There were a lot of people standing still their faces gray like untuned TV channel. He had tried to pass them and the crossing but each way the light on the crossing had been red. He couldn't make his legs to move forward. But with each passing day he had been able to walk a little bit further and while passing the dark allays he knew that information that he gather about the hospital, about its patients and stuff or their records was in the dark corners behind the buildings. He could enter the buildings and shops after some time. He had knew that there was the whole city in his head and each street contained the certain information but every time he was entering this place it started on this big crossing. It was his way of remembering the information. He could see them from those small written on the newspapers in the cafe shops to those big ones on the billboards.

 

Most of the times he had been staying in his head with informations he gathered. After his long time in the hospital he had left with those two odd people- Kine and Manami. And while he was free from this white prison and with access to the internet he started to gather more information of the outside world. He just couldn't stop as if it was the only thing he had been doing all his life. He knew about computers and programs even though he was not sure from where. He was almost obsessed with finding people. He was helping people with finding their loved ones and secrets why their left in the first place. Some days he hasn't even slept and in the morning he woke up with a blanket on his back. He was sure that one of his babysitters was watching him.

 

There were times he was dreaming of a bear with pale gold fur. Most of the time he was running from the animal. It was roaring with its muzzle wide open showing its teeth. But Izaya was not afraid. He was running at least in his dreams. And it was the biggest joy of his mundane life for over a year. His legs were taking him farther and farther away from the beast. The bigger the distance between him and the animal the louder it roared. There were times when the beast was not paying attention to him and than Izaya spend hours to observe it to admire its shape, the color of its fur, the strength in its pawns. Blown-golden eyes staying focused on its task ahead of it. And there was this one time when he almost touch it but then it smelled him in the air and the chase has begun. He had only hoped that he hasn't let slip one of his comments about the beast for it to be beautiful or magnificent while he was asleep.

 

One time he has received an e-mail similar to every he had received in the past year. Two young girls had been looking for their brother to confirme his death. It would be work same as ever. But this particular message contained the attached photo. After he has opened the attachment his whole world freezed. From his trance woke him the sound of crushing cup that he has been holding. The photo was of him. It was his face! He could hear Manami's voice calling him while his eyes stayed on the screen. The only words he said was: ' _It's me'_. And that made Manami to look the same way as Izaya. Kine appeared at their side seconds later.

 

And that way he found himself here. Even though Kine has said that his wish before he lost his concious and memories was to take him from here in the first place. So together with Manami they'd done that very thing. Granting the wish of a dying man. It had been a miracle that he survived with his side with ugly scar, legs unable to carry him far and memories locked somewhere deep in that city inside his head. Few days later Orihara twins picked him from Kanto and together they come back to Shinjuku. Funny thing was that Shinjuku even if it was big it was not a reflection of the city inside his head. They had left Kine and Manami in Kanto. They preferred to not go back to the lives they had left behind on the day of his accident. One thing stayed the same. Twins also claimed that he had accident and it involved the truck. But Izaya assumed that it was the part of their conversation with Kine and Manami before they departed. Each time he was thinking about crash involving a truck was of the body flying few meters and rolling on the street. And it was not him, for sure.

 

Mairu and Kururi stayed in the guest bedroom to keep an eye on him. On the second day in the...in his apartment his sisters invited a doctor. They told him he used to be his private doctor because past-Izaya had hated hospitals. There was nothing suspicious with their explanation because his last time in the hospital had been slowly making him mad. But after he met Kishitani Shinra he was sure there was something wrong with his choice of the physician.

 

'I've asked the hospital in Kanto to send me your medical record' said the man his age with bright smile and oval glasses. 'They send it this morning so I'm going to confirm the results and put them to my own records of yours.'

 

'Your name is Kishitani, right?' Izaya asked more and more daubting the sanity of that man. 

'Call me Shinra' the exchange made the undeground doctor a little bit nostalgic. 

'It seems I used to be a frequent guest in your clinic Kishitani-sensei' Izaya said laying on the leather couch in the living room.

 

The underground doctor laughed nervously and looked for a second at the twins. He turned to Izaya helping him with a shirt to lift it.

 

'Well... you can call me Shinra.'

 

'THAT frequent?' asked Izaya looking suspicious at the man.

 

'W-wha... No! We know eachother from school! So you could say that you visited few time~! Ha-ha-ha...' Shinra started to wave his hands in front of him in a nervous way.

 

'Do you even own a clinic, Kishitani-SENSEI?' he accented the title narrowing his eyes.

 

'Even without your memories you're an asshole, Izaya-kun!' Shinra made a pouting face.

 

 _'I-za-ya-kun..._ '

 

Something was not right. Unintentionally the raven was standing on this crossing in his head. He was looking around at gray faces of the crowd. He could still hear his name in the echo of the low voice. People were surrounding him in circle. Gray untuned faces and still he tried to find the person that called him. The world was making round, spinning with the gray crowd, blurring and than the pain in his legs. He fell on his knees on the cold concrete.

 

His eyes snapped open. He looked down to see this Shinra doctor bending his leg in the knee checking their flexibility. Izaya bit his bottom lip hissing in the pain. His hand landed on the doctors shoulder squeezing as hard as he could.

 

'That bad?' asked Shinra looking at ravens face. 'He has taken a toll on you, huh?'

 

'W-who?' rasped Izaya.

 

'Who? Shi...' whatever Shinra tried to tell him was interrupted.

 

'Shitty driver!' said Mairu jumping in their way.

 

Shinra looked her way. Behind the hyperactive twin the other nodded in the silent confirmation. Behind the couch backrest the informant couldn't see that exchange of the looks between others. Shinra's wide open eyes blinked and he went back to the work in hand. He wrote something on the documents send by the hospital. He asked for Izaya to turn and started to examine his spine. He could feel under his fingers that few vertebrae in the spine were damaged. He has heard from few people and Shizuo, himself, that at the final battle Izaya had rised himself from the concrete. But Shinra was not sure if the strength to do that was from the adrenaline pumping thought Izaya's veins or his stubborness merged with pride to ignore the pain that he had been in. “ _You have been looking for a monster, my friend, and you've found it...”_ bitter thought crossed the underground doctor's mind.

 

Records said that Izaya had a treatment to regain mobility and sessions that would help with a psychosomatic inability to use his legs but after leaving the hospital he has stopped to attend them. That didn't surprise Shinra because even with his memories lost Izaya was the same self-destructive person. It also explained his use of the wheelchair to even move around the apartment. The stabbing wound hadn't done a lot of damage even if it left a scar. Nothing that a surgery couldn't fix. But even unattended it could cause serious internal bleeding. “ _You were ready to die there. Why...?_ ”

 

Shinra had left after the examination and his sisters left too on the next day saying something harsh as that they confirmed that he is very alive and that now they need to wait for another golden opportunity to finally be free from their older brother. After that statement he wasn't surprised that it took them almost two years to find him. After they left with the leaflet of the place he used to order take-away food sticked on the fridge he felt cold. It was too quite in this place. Too cold. Even with the heaters on and the light glowing in this warm light. He wheeled himself to the window.

 

With his mind set on getting out and leaflet with address in hand he waited outside of his building for a taxi. While he was waiting for a driver he was looking around. The street though he had used to live here for years, was not the place he was familiar in his mind. It was not the street from that inner city in his head. His eyes landed on the crash barrier in front of the doorway to the building. One part was removed. The metal attached to the concrete was bended as if the car had hit it and because of the accident it was removed. Car accident....

 

“ _Think you could believe in the last 1%?_ ”

 

He wheeled his way to the barrier. He could almost hear the tire squeal.

 

“ _You couldn't, could you?”_

 

'One....percent...' Izaya said slowly moving his forefinger on the metal surface as if the caressing could lure the memory.

 

There was a honk from the street and his attention was moved elsewhere. With the help of a driver he sat down in the car.

 

'Take me to that place' Izaya said giving the driver a small piece of paper.

 

According to the driver it would take twenty minutes to get there but each minute was like finally understanding his own mind. He asked a driver to make round and show him a city. No. THE city. Ikebukuro. He could recognize those streets. Those shops and signs. Those parks and bridges. He KNEW them! They were making rounds for almost an hour with Izaya's face plastered to the window like a small child would do on a tour. He couldn't remember it but he knew it from his mind. Finally he asked to be taken to the establishment of his once favorite dish. Once again with the help of a driver and a wheelchair at the entrance of the car he found himself in front of the place. Russian Sushi, as the name of the restaurant was flashed with neons, would not be a place of his first choice but here he was trying his old life. Not far from him tall, darkskined man was waving with a bunch of similar leaflets as the one in Orihara's hand.

 

S-Si...Sim... the man made his way to him and asked in the foreigner language if it's really him. In a language that Izaya knew besides Japanese. He knew that language but he was not able to answer. He knew the answer but he couldn't reply with the words stuck in his throat. Dark face pulled down in a frown but with a gesture he pointed at the door. With his head down Izaya made his way inside. But before he closed the door the foreigner man spoke with huge smile.

 

'Good sushi! Take good sushi. Leave before it goes bad, I-za-ya!' he turned around to the passersby. 'Good sushi! Favorite sushi!'

 

'Wierd guy' Izaya murmured and made his way to the bar.

 

'Izaya!' said creepy looking white man. 'Long time no see. Same thing as always?'

 

'Y-yeah...' a little bit overwhelmed Izaya stammered to what the chief started at him for a second longer before he started to prepare a food.

 

“ _They know me. They actually know me! But I...”_ with that thought he turned too the one of the booths with chairs. One of the legs was mismatched. There were plenty of other tables but this one was almost calling him. Staring at the patched tableleg he made his way there. He moved one of the chairs and took the place. There was a crack on the other side of the table on its edge.

 

“ _You've got great instincts. Like a beast...”_

 

'Beast...' murmured severing the small splinter with his nail. 'I'm getting mad.' the small piece of wood fell under the table. 'I...I _need_ to get out of here.'

 

With his mind changed he moved to the door. He was harshly pushing the wheels forward. He passed the bar with the pale man who noticed his departure.

 

'Your ootoro!' the Russian called after him.

 

But the only thing that Izaya could hear was a white noise. He needed to get out of here. He passed the doorway with the same bump under the wheels at the frame as when he entered but more noticeable because of the speed of the thing. It swayed a little but he was finally outside. The door closed with a loud slam which disturbed Simon outside. " _Simon. His name is Simon!_ " But the black Russians attention moved from Izaya to the left somewhere far on the sidewalk. There on the sidewalk was a pale golden bear from his dreams making its way to Izaya. The raven started to wheel back past the tall Russian. The bear roared with its muzzle wide open and sharp teeth on the display.

 

'S-Simon...' said Izaya turning the Russian Sushi's worker attention to him. 'помощь' the foreigner word slipped past his lips finally.

 

Simon studied his face for a second and than with a nod he made his way to face the animal. Orihara moved to the side of the street and waved for the taxi. The first one pulled over and the door for the passenger opened and Izaya without thinking just pushed himself this one step almost falling inside. He turned to the driver to see him trying to get away of the car to pack the wheelchair. Izaya pulled himself using backseats.

 

'Leave the bloody thing!' he yelled. 'Just go! Go!'

 

Driver startled closed his door and pulled to the traffic. Izaya turned to look through the back window to see Simon holding the bear. But narrowing his rustybrown eyes to see better through the blurry image he started to distinguish that in Simon's hold it was not a bear but a man. Pale gold hair tossed on everyside throught to the struggle, big pawns with black claws were hands that tried to get a grip at the pool of the streetsighn and the muzzle turned to mouth shouting at the top of his lungs. The beast was calling his name loud enough for Izaya to hear. The tremor went though his whole body and after that the jolt of pain made its way from his legs through the spine right to his head. He fell on the cheap couch of the backseat.

 

'IIIIZAAAAYAAAA!!!' sound echoed in his body like a bass from a huge speaker.

 

Izaya fumbled through pockets to find his phone. There was one number in his head. He could remember it not only from the paper left yesterday but from the muscle memory of his fingers. He knew the number. With shaking hands he pushed the digits and murmuring prayers waited for the signal. After the second one the call was answered.

 

'Shinra! Shinra...' Izaya couldn't form the words he covered his eyes with a palm of his free hand to block the image of a monster.

 

'Izaya! What happened?!' the panic in the underground doctor was clearly heard.

 

'Shi...Shiz...' Izaya just couldn't.

 

'Izaya-kun. What happened?' Shinra repeated trying to stay calm at least in his voice.

 

'Shi...I... ' the raven took a few deep breaths. 'Left my wheelchair...'

 

'Okay. Okay. No worries I will...'

 

'Tell Courier-san to fetch it' said Izaya with raged breath still covering his eyes.

 

Courier... Izaya-kun?' Shinra took a deep breath himself. 'How do you know?'

 

'I don't know!' Izaya yelled finally uncovering his eyesight and griped at the frontseat and lifting himself a little bit. ' I just know! Nothing makes sense Shinra.' after that little outburst he felt tired and numb. 'Monster, Shinra... Monster was there.... after me...'

 

'Izaya...'

 

'The monster...'

 

'I'll me in your place as soon as I can' Shinra stated ending the call.

 

Izaya placed his forehead on the back of his hand on the frontseat.

 

'Where now, sir?' the driver finally asked.

 

'Away...' whispered the raven. 'Far away from here.'

 

*

 

'Ne... Kuru-nee... Do you think that Shizuo-san picked our take-away from Russia Sushi?' asked Mairu almost laying with her back to back to her sister.

 

'Probably...' said Kururi laying on her stomach patiently taking the added weight.

 

'That's what I love about you, Kuru-nee!' the other twin shouted and turned to start to hug her sister. 'You are such a naughty girl!'

 

*

 

Not long after he arrived to his apartment with extra help and extra cash for the taxi driver, Shinra has showed up. He gave Izaya some of his wired medicines for Izaya to calm down. After that he left leaving Izaya in his too big bed.

 

Apparently even the pills couldn't take his dreams away. He was stuck in his bed, paralyzed. The beast, big bear was making its way to him. It climbed the bed and moved its muzzle close to Izaya's face. Izaya shut his eyes waiting for the end. It sniffed him at the side of his face and nuzzled his cheek.

 

'Izaya...'

 

The hoarse voice said his name to what Izaya opened his eyes and stared at the brown-golden eyes of a man. The same man he thought he has left in front of Russian Sushi. Yet he was here. In his bedroom while Izaya has been trapped between his arms that were on each side of raven's head. The pale gold hair falling on those wired colored eyes. Eyes that were looking at Izaya with a grief. One more time the man just bend and took a full breath of his scent in the crook of the ravens neck. Izaya shivered but it was only this what he could do. His muscles still not responding to his orders.

 

'Izaya...' he could here once again but as a whisper near his ear.'... you're alive...'

 

'Who...' Orihara liked his lips trying to get rid of the dry feeling in his mouth and make his lips to move. 'What are you? A beast?'

 

Shizuo moved once again searching those rusty eyes. A breath of resignation left his lips.

 

'Yeah, I'm a beast...' the blond finally answered. 'Your beast.'

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeellloooo!
> 
> Yeah yeah. I know it suppous to be a one-shot but thanks to Your comments and messeges I decided to put one more part. I cannot promise more but I'll try. I'm also working on few other stories now so maybe in few day or weeks You will find something new in my works. For sure there will be something from Servamp and probably some other Shizaya story ;)
> 
> It was done in a rush this night so I only spell checked it (weird things can happen even with a help of the online spell checker) ano no beta-ed.
> 
> Now enjoy

The smoke was making twists and circles above Shizuo's head. The poisonous fog in his throat and lungs was irristating him more than calming. Especially that early in the morning but he was too restless to not wake up every hour or so. His free hand he placed on his abused larynx. He could still feel Simon's chocking hold on his neck even day later. He needed to admit that the Russian was the only one person that could compete with his own strength. His hand fell down and griped in a fist. He took one more drag and blow above his head to not disturbe with it the Headless Rider standing in front of him.

 

'I've seen him' Shizuo finally said still looking at the small cloud he has made.

 

'So I've heard' was Celty's reply after she has finished typing on her black phone.

 

'He run away' was Shizuo's turn after brief look at the screen while still facing the sky.

 

'Shizuo, he always runs' seeing that her word were not reassuring she added. 'But he's not coming back. Shinra...' she hesitated but still typed down the rest of her thought' he said that Izaya doesn't remember anything.'

 

'So he doesn't remember how he ruined my life also, huh?' with that he drew his arm still holding a cigarette and throw it at the train track beloved the bridge they were standing on.

 

'It seems so. You've also scared him so he will probably not come back to Ikebukuro.'

 

Shizuo snorted at her words. There was no way in hell for Izaya to not come back. Even if Shizuo had thought that the flea was dead for good he has just rised from the dead. Even if the fucker lost his memories his mere presence made the blond remember for him the times Izaya taunted, angered or even hurt him with his bloody knives. For past two years Shizuo had his peace but like a weteran from a war he knew that there had to be the price to pay for his peaceful life.

 

For first few weeks there was this silence around him. With look in people's eyes, with the look in Shinra's eyes- Izaya's only friend. That angered him more than while the said man had been still alive. Even if the shot from Vorona had been deadlier than his punches people had seen HIM fighting the fleabag and throwing him few meters back while breaking bones with a loud cracking noise. That was on him. Those last cuts made by his blade healed in that time but the first one from high school still remaind as a white like across his chest. And it was that night when he had unwrapped the bandage from around his ribcage that he realized something.

 

He was sitting on his bed with only his briefs before the shower facing the high mirror with a backframe. He needed to take the white cloth before he would head to the bathroom. It fell to the floor reveling perfectly healed skin. But the white line from the few years back still stained his sun-kissed skin. His only memento of the person who cussed him so much pain. Still looking at his own reflection he traced the scar with fingers. His brow bended to show a scowl on his face. There was something inside him that he couldn't pinpoint. Something that was trying to drill deeper and deeper into his chest where the scar was left.

 

Days passed then weeks after that he could count months. People forgot what had happened in the center of Ikebukuro on one of the biggest crossings. They forgot that Izaya had lived among them and mendened with their lives. They forgot and that was a time when a grief finally made its way into Shizuo's heart after the night he finally had got rid of a bandage. Because he finally understood that for his peace he needed to fight for with a person destined to loose against him. There was no question ' _if_ ' but ' _when_ ' he would kill Izaya.

 

That man was weaker than him. All of people were weaker than Shizuo. And he finally saw Izaya's point. He could take down anyone as long as he only wanted to. That night on their last fight he wanted Izaya dead. Because he couldn't control his anger. If not for Vorona he would finish the fucker himself and become the monster he had been called since high school. But even Izaya would not try to confront him knowing that he would die. It was not only to prove the point. T _he flea was a coward. Always has been._ Even if the blast of the explosion in the building had surprised him and Shizuo survived there was something different in the whole encounter. Those cuts were not the same as they used to be. Almost as if he taunted and teased him. _Kill me kill me kill me finally_ each slash said.

 

_Do it, monster..._

 

'I need to take it with me' screen of Celty's phone was few centimeters from his face as if she tried to pick his attention.

 

Finally Shizuo looked at his side where the wheelchair was folded ready to pack in a small trunk attached to the Shooter. _So the flea was crippled AND without memories._ The person he would like to ask so many questions was alive but as a shell without the answers he wanted to hear. In that case... he would need to MAKE him remember. He needed those answers.

 

'I think I'll take care of it' Shizuo stated with a calm voice while picking the wheelchair and turned away from her taking of to the station.

 

Celty shuddered with fear waving her phone with big sign 'WHAT?!'

 

'I'm off to Shinjuku to...' he stopped in his words and steps '...to...to what execly...' he shuffled threw a pocket in his pants picking a pack of cigarettes.'Annoying...' he flamed the end and resumed the way he intended to take.' I'm going to kill that annoying flea...' suprisingly those words passed his lips with ease.

 

Once again the screen with the same question in capitals flashed at Heiwajima's back. But after a second Celty shrugged her shoulders in the sign of the defeat. “ _They will never change”_ she thought fondly. Her friends stance and the calm way he was walking assured her that there would be no casualties after this encounter. She has seen the impact of Izaya's disappearance. Though there were less fights Shizuo was restraining himself more during even the smallest disagreement. He was the first to back off. Tanaka Tom was amazed by the calmness that Shizuo was showing. She knew that because Shizuo has mentioned the lunch topic he had had with his senpai. But Celty could see that it was not the matter of the peace he tried to achieve after getting rid of Orihara. It was more about not making the same situation with life or death decision. She couldn't even imagine what Shizuo has seen that took away his short temper. But she wished for Shizuo to finally find the peace he was seeking for all those years.

 

*

 

Izaya was still laying in his bed trying to block out the sun rays by covering his eyes with forearm. The sleeping pills that Shinra gave him after yesterday's encounter with a beast have been strong enough that he couldn't wake up from the nightmare. There was no sudden waking up in the middle of the night with a gasp while sitting in tangled sheets trying to catch his breath. No. It was more subtle. With the night torment he just opened his eyes feeling warmth of the sunrise on his face and even warmer and wetter trays on the sides of his face. And the echo of Izaya's name and words that shouldn't sound like confession and conviction at the same time.

 

_Izaya..._

 

The arm slide to his forehead while he moved his head to the side trying not to face a window. With eyes stuck at the tangle of fibers in a small, fluffy rug at the side of the bed he sighed. There was no wheelchair there.

 

_Your beast..._

 

Izaya even shouldn't know how the man's voice sounded while not yelled at the street. He shouldn't! _So why?!_ Was his imagination so overactive that the person he has just met... Just met... How did he know his name?!

 

He knew this man from before! From before the accident! Izaya's eyes widened and he sat up sharply. Apparently that was the worst decision he could ever made. The sharp pain shoot up his spine. His whole body was aching. _**Crack**_ The sound of dozens breaking branches was echoing in his head. Even his arms hurt. Almost lifeless he fell on the pillow. The silent scream tried to pass his open lips only to get stuck somewhere on it's way. With wide open eyes he could only see a white ceiling with only a shadows of a memory at the back of his head that he felt should be really important. He could feel the pain increasing or just he ingeminated that it increased duo to the time it was not lessening up. _That pain..._

 

_Do it monster..._

 

Why there were monsters in Ikebukuro? _So different from humans..._ but not that much at the same time. Humanity. He loved humans but he hated monsters. He loved humans but hated monsters! He loved humans but hated humans. _No... no..._ he loved humans and hated monsters. He loved humans and loved humans. He loved humans and monsters. _It hurts..._ He hated both humans and monsters! And loved them at the same time... There should be monster and human at the same time. Just like there should be the emotion between love and hate. _I can't take it anymore..._ Human in monster's body... Monster in human's body to love to hate and to hate to love. There should be that kind of... creacher for him to finally prove that humans were monsters. _My head..._

 

Izaya cracked open his one eye to locate his phone on the nightstand. With one hand while other was griping his hair in a iron fist he fumbled with buttons to dial the last number. The new wave of pain pierced his whole body ending at his head and with that the hold on the device loosened and it fell on that fluffy rug beside his bed. In the same time the dialing screen flashed with a red dot to end the call Izaya's scream filled his empty bedroom.

 

From the rug where you could see that there were no monsters hiding under his bed...

 

*

 

Not that long after Izaya lost conscious Shinra arrived with a help of a cab driver who rightly “ _motivated_ ” speeded to Shinjuku. After the examination unconscious body and pulling some more medication into with a syringe he finally was sitting on a chair beside his bed with his doctor's bag on the floor. Shinra sighed and leaned on the backrest waiting for Orihara to wake up. Honestly Kishitani didn't have anything better to do. With his lovely wifey in town trying to retrieve Izaya's wheelchair that was claimed by Shizuo for reasons probably known only to the blond he didn't need to go back home. Sooner or later she's going to be here and together they could go back to their love nest. And after lunch made with Celty's whole affection and effort putted in it they will retire for a short nap to cuddle and... But after an hour of underground doctor's daydreaming Izaya finally opened his eyes with a groan. Shinra could see that the brunet was trying to sit so with a hand placed on a shoulder he spoke to catch the other's attention. Izaya placed his hand on the side of his face wincing from the dull ache at the back of his head.

 

'You shouldn't sit up' at the recognition in Orihara's eye after he glanced at Shinra he lay back. 'And you shouldn't get up also.'

 

'Not get up? Haven't you heard about physiology, Shinra? I always knew you were a crappy pervert- doctor but that is so beneath you...' with a shock he pulled his hand away staring at it for a second. 'Wha...'

 

'Well...' Shinra sighed once again retaking his seat. 'At least your sharp tongue is fine and dandy, Izaya-kun as always.'

 

'I didn't mean to...' Izaya looked up at the man with spectacles and stopped after he saw sad face of the other.

 

'All in all you called me like you always used to do' Shinra said with a sad smile.

 

'Kishitani-sensei...I...I...' but the words get stuck in Izaya's mouth.

 

'It does not matter....' the underground doctor get up leaving the chair and grabbing his case. 'Celty's going to be here in few minutes probably though it's taking her too much time. She went to get your chair. ' he made his way to the bedroom door not even looking at still speechless ex-informant. 'I'll try to contact her on my way out and probably I'll wait for her downstairs. So you can make your physiology things from time to time' he smirked throwing the last look at his patient and friend.

 

'Those pills' Izaya finally said after he heard the sound of opening lock in the door 'they cussed a nightmare that I couldn't wake up from.'

 

Even if Shirna paused in his action and was still facing the wooden surface he has taken the information in. Sometimes he missed his arrogant friend who wouldn't like to share with nothing that was sitting in his head. But when he had done it on few occasions Shinra was glad that it was not a common thing in their friendship.

 

'Izaya...' Shinra started still not facing the man'... than you're lucky that you do not remember...'

 

And not waiting for any reaction he left closing the door and hardly waking to the front door. On his way he was murmuring under his nose. And without looking he opened the frontdoor and bumped into a person standing with a hand withdrawn to push the doorbell. And with a wheelchair on the shoulder secured with the other hand. With clothes approved by most of the bars in the world as a common dresscode for the occupation. With blue sunglasses covered by the dyed blond hair. With the name Heiwajima Shizuo who shouldn't be here. For a second Shinra was shocked to the point of not moving even a muscle with his mouth wide open. After that he smiled on of his goofy smiles and started to retrieve back to the specious apartment.

 

'Wrong door' he laughed nervously while closing the door.

 

Before Shinra could close them the hand shoot throw the small space blocking it. And with a strong push Shinra stubbed from the force of it taking few steps back finally landing on his butt. With a wine he started to massage his back but before he even realized he was pushed back on his feet and dragged to the exit. He said his friend's name few times just to pick his attention and stop him from whatever he tried to do but Shizuo throw Shinra on the corridor outside of the apartment. With his face stuck to the cold tiles he could only feel his back tossed at his back. Rising up while adjusting his glasses he turned to the closing door still sitting at the floor.

 

'Shizuo-kun...!'

 

'See you around Shinra' and with that the frontdoor was shut close.

 

'It's reeeeaaaaally bad!' this thought echoed in Kishitani's head. 'I need to call Celty!' he stood up and jumped to the frontdoor while picking out his phone from the pocket of his lab coat.

 

' **Shizuo-kun!** '

 

*

 

With his back rested on the door Shizuo still could feel the vibration of small punches on the thick wood and hear his name called out by Shinra from the other side of the door. With a dull gaze he was steering at the wheelchair placed few feet from him at the other end of the short corridor. _What I'm doing here..._ The yells from the other side stopped only replaced by the hush of the onesided conversation. Only Shinra could call Celty and understand what her silence meaned. _The proper conversation..._ With the new determination in his eyes hooded with pulled brows he stepped aside from the door and made his way more into the cold apartment grabbing the wheelchair.

 

The place was the same as he could remember from his one visit. And even though he hadn't met Izaya that time the apartment was as cold and unwelcome as it used to be. Nothing changed in here almost making Shizuo believe that nothing changed at all. And those two years of guilt and sorrow seemed pointless in the current matter. And anger flare once again at new. He turned to the stares and with heavy steps he made his way upstairs. He opened every door. Spere bedroom... Closet... Bathroom... Each step was more heavy and quicker. The last door at the end was looming at him. Almost to big to be real. But even though he grabbed at the handle and pushed the final barrier reviling too big bed with too small body in it.

 

'Kishitani-sensei, did you leave something?' he bundle of sheets asked not even getting up.

 

At the sound of that voice the wheelchair on his shoulder just fell to the floor and the handle still in his grip bended in a grotesque way. The clatter disturbed Izaya who turned his head throw his shoulder to check was was wrong with underground doctor. But what he has seen made his eyes widen. _The beast..._

 

'Iza...' Shizuo's thouth was to dry so he stopped and swallowed trying to get rid of it.

 

_No... Don't..._

 

'Izaya...' the blond tried once again. 'You're ala...'

 

' **STOP!** ' Izaya yelled pulling himself and retreated back finally being stopped by the headrest.

 

'Izaya!' the reven's moved made his own body react and chase him end at the same bed kneeling on the soft mattress almost looming above the scared man.

 

'Get out! Get out!' his whole body was stiff with the dull pain going straight to his legs shielded only by the black material of the cover.

 

_Your beast..._

 

Izaya covered his ears with both hands and shutting his eyes trying to block the image of the monster. On top of his own palms he could feel the warmth of someone other hands who finally turned his face to their direction. The warmth of a breath that hit him smelled like a smoke. Almost like a dragon's breath. The nonexisting smell of smoke but more sharp like the one cussed by the chemicals with a lot of tasteless ash was placed his Izaya's nose and mouth. Like a fantom pushing at his thoughts to distant to be a part of the present. ... _your past will be your god...guilt._..

 

'Izaya! Snap out of it!' the yell almost pierced his body. 'I need some answers!'

 

At that his carmine eyes once again opened taking the sight of the blond man in. _Answers... I need answers_. And with that though in his mind Izaya just asked:

 

'Who **are** you?'

 


	3. Chapter 3

_Who are you?_

 

Shizuo was stirring some noodles on a frying pan staring at them while mechanically maneuvering wooden chopsticks to not burn the dinner. They were fighting. They always fight but this time in was the verbal battle at what Shizuo was not used to. Words were always difficult for him to spell while his whole body was trembling with anger and teeth were clenched so tight that even the air couldn't pass them to take a breath. That was why he preferred to just show people the reason with actions. And that was why he was standing in not his own kitchen in not his own apartment situated in not his own city making the dinner for two. _What a mess..._

 

*

 

_'Who are you?'_

 

 _Izaya's rusty eyes were searching his golden irises as surprised as his own. The man sitting in front of him, the same man who was constantly making his life harder to bear, was clueless. He didn't have any answers Shizuo now demanded to know. What happened with this man who has slipped from his grab so many times? What was so different that time to finally be his end? To turn him into a trembling mess on his king size bed with no recall of his previous sins. Shizuo needed the man that with a knife in his hand and trails of blood from the corners of his mouth had been standing two years ago on the crowded crossing in the center of Ikebukuro. He needed that man to tell him why he had blew up the whole building just to get reed of him. He would bring that man back just so he would answer him for the first time in his shitty life honestly._ Why? Izaya, why?

 

_'Heiwajima Shizuo' the blond finally replied but then grabbed Izaya's arms and shook him in a gesture of some kind of proving point. 'But don't imagine things. I am fucking hate you!'_

 

 _'Shiz...' Izaya tested the sound of the name with a distant look for him to finally scowl and once again meet Shizuo's eyes. 'So what are you doing here, ne?' his face turned into that smug way Shizuo absolutely loathed._ So that at least hasn't fucking changed... Ooohh, how I am fuck hate him... _'If you hate me there is no need for you to be here. And for that matter for sure there is no need for you to be in my bedroom while I've run from...' the confidence was broken by a surprise '...from you...'_

 

_'I need fucking answers, you fuck flea!' trying not to punch the guy he pushed forcefully his forehead to the other's one and tightened the hold on one skinny arm while holding the back of the brunet's head with the other._

 

_'My, my... What on earth I could tell you?' Izaya sighed looking at the side with a dust of a blush at the uncomfortable closeness. 'I don't even know you. And here you are, acting so casual and invading my personal space' he mumbled. 'Seriously... no social manners. What are you? A caveman?' the mumbling was getting on Shizuo's nerve and reminded him too much of the past insults._

 

_'Fleeeeaaa...' the debt collector said in a form of warning._

 

_'Enough' Izaya stated with a fierce look and tried to pull his head away only to struggle with a strong hold. 'Just...let me... go... you stupid...' he hissed through clenched teeth still fighting for some space._

 

_'I-za-ya-kuuun...' he griped at the black stands and almost bore his own forehead though Izaya's skull. Ex-informant shuddered at the growl looking hesitant at the scowling blond. The closer distant only unnerved him with a edge of tinted sunglasses digging into his own nose bridge. 'I'm going to fucking stay here. And I'm going to dig out the fucking answers from you. Even if it's going to be the last thing you would say in your miserable life' he finished with a triumph._

 

_'The l-last t-thing...?' Izaya stammered. He was not aware that in his past life he had knew people that dangerous as the man in front of him and so... exciting... 'Are you going to … kill me?' he whispered._

 

_'That is so two years ago' Heiwajima snickered. 'I'm going to make you tell me the truth on your own...' the smirk only grew. 'And you know what is so fucking beautiful in it?' Shizuo asked finally pulling the other head away looking at his whole face._

 

_'W-what?' seriously this man was making Izaya so uneasy that he could call himself pitiful._

 

_'You're going to so... sooo hate it' the grin was so wide that Izaya could swear he saw the sharp canines of the beast from his dreams in the blond's mouth._

 

_'So are going to have lots of fun...' Izaya replied with a determination in his eyes._

 

_Geez... he hated the man..._

 

*

 

Just the memories from a week ago of the confused expression of his nemesis made Shizuo chuckle only for him to scowl after a second. Why this flea's face was looking “funny” with that look? His thoughts were interrupted by the sizzling and the burned smell of the noodles.

 

'Oh fuck...' he growled and picked the pan blowing some air to drop the temperature still mixing the noodles with chopsticks for them to not get stuck to the bottom. 'Plea...'

 

'What is this god awful smell?!' at the question from the stairs Shizuo's face fell the one of total annoyance.

 

Not even few seconds after the mechanic sound of the wheelchair elevator Izaya wheeled from behind the wall into the kitchen. _Fuck my luck._.. The kitchen belonged to Orihara who was not pleased of the smell that spreaded through the whole apartment. The owner stopped at the table and with a dissapintment written on his whole face was looking at ex-bartender's back still standing in front of the cooker. Izaya couldn't see that but the vein on the side of Shizuo's head was pulsing dangerously. _Ohhh how I am fuck hate him..._

 

This whole week was a form of passive-agressive comments from Izaya and a lot of self-preservetion from Shizuo. There was no knife nor punches. Even though some of the small objects now bended or broken were thrown away to the garbage among the empty cartons from cigarettes. For the first two days Izaya was distant every time Shizuo was entering the bedroom. Not even acknowledge his presence- plain ignorance manifested by looking bored at the window. After Shinra let him out of the bed rest and move more freely Orihara seemed more in the mood if not still refusing to resp ode at some way to the unwanted guest. For the whole visit Shinra was glancing at Shizuo almost as if he was afraid for the blond to explode at any moment. While Shizuo was accompanying Shinra to the door he found a small case near the door. He opened it and picked inside. There were few hooks and on one of them was a set of spare keys. Well that would solve a problem of opening the door other way than by force on the next day after he would be back from work. All in all Izaya threatened that he would not open the door for him. The blond could hear Shinra's comment on the side. ' _Oh my god. You ARE serious..._ ' with this look of utter disbelieve.

 

Day after day Shizuo tried to pick some suspicious behavior in Izaya. Trying to find out if he was lieing about the amnesia thing. But nothing Shizuo was doing was bringing back this malicious side of the informant he used to know. Even worse, he was a perfect picture of a boy raised in a good house with strict rules of a good behaviour and formal way of speaking. It was almost as if this fake cheerful friendly persona he used to be was somebody else than the man with the same face siting now patiently at the polished kitchen table. And that was driving Shizuo mad! How was he suppose to get answered by a completely different person than the one that cussed so much harm in his life?

 

There was this situation when Shizuo was almost hopeful of uncovering Izaya's disguise of a clueless victim when a serious man in a white suite knocked into a front door and after Shizuo's answering the door just walking inside like he owned a place with two bodyguards right behind him. _Shini Hakuya or something... not important..._ He told Izaya that they used to work together for an almost a decade. _Yakuza than, fucking perfect... Shitty flea..._ But the only thing that he had seen Izaya doing was a shake of head and an apology for not knowing Shimi-guy and that he had no recollection of his previous job. The yakuza man just nodded almost in understanding and probably not seeing any benefits in keeping the meeting longer with an amnesic person just left leaving the cuisines card 'just in case' if Izaya would remember their time working together. Cauthing Izaya red-handed was harder than Shizuo anticipated because at the beginning he was sure that the brunet was pulling an act. Their talk in the bedroom on this first morning had been so close to Izaya's poisonous chatter that he was sure that the man was bluffing.

 

Shizuo pulled the plates from the cupboard after the temperature of the noodles dropped down. He started to make even portions on both plates. After he was satisfied with the amount he placed the frying pan with some extra portion in it on the cold burner on the stove. He picked the two sets of chopsticks from the drawer and plates from the counter and made his way to the table. He placed one dish in front of Izaya and sat down with his own. Before he digs into his own food he heard a sighed from the other man. Surprised he glanced up with a big bite half-way to his mouth a little bended to the plate so with his long upper body it would not fall on to his white shirt to stain it. Izaya was looking at the plate with a bored expression with his face supported by the palm of his hand with elbow place on the side of the disk. With a scowl Heiwajima stringed and lower the cutlery.

 

'What the fuck this time is your problem?' he barked.

 

'It's too much for me, Shizuo-kun...' Izaya finally said still staring at the twister of the noodles.

 

 _Shizuo-kun..._ The blond just froze. Even if in this past week he has heard it so many times still it sounded so foreign spoken in this familiar voice. And that was baffling him every time. That and this cool politeness of his. No bickering or side comments implying his lack intelligence. No _stupid, brute, Neanderthal, idiot, savage, protozoan_. No monster. No _Shizu-chan_...

 

'...uo-kun!' the voice priced through his thoughts and finally picked his attention to look from this small scratch on the table beside his dish to land on Izaya's face. 'I said 'give me your plate'.'

 

'Huh...?' passed Shizuo's lips.

 

Izaya once again sighed with resignation and just leaned on his elbows to lift himself a little from a wheelchair. With one hand still depending on the other arm he picked Shizuo's plate and falling back at his seat he placed porcelain disks side by side. The brunet picked his own plate and with unused chopsticks he started to push some of the meal on the other plate. With only half of the portion he picked the one that contained more noodles and lifted it to Shizuo to take it. The blond was staring at the offered meal not moving a muscle. Orihara wiggled it a little almost like you do it with a dogs bowl. ' _Here. Take it_ ' Orihara said. And only after that Shizuo finally moved to take the past plate. With a small smile Izaya finally paid attention to his own food and started to take bite after small bite chewing slowly. For a whole minute the blond was looking at the ex-informant with a puzzled expression on his face. Finally, he stared at his noodles and trying not to notice his company he digs fiercely into his food stuffing his mouth with it. He couldn't see that Izaya was looking at him with the same small smile as minute ago while the chopstick were still touching his lips after the last bite only for it to dissapiere when he noticed Shizuo was suppose to look up.

 

 _Bizarre_...

 

*

 

Izaya heard the sound of rudely shutting front door and then nothing. No sounds on the stairs leading to the upper floor nor the sound of the door to the spare bedroom. After a week of having self-proclaimed roommate he got used to waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of shuffling and entrance of clumsy blond. Even if this man was a complete stranger to Izaya extremely rude on their first day of knowing each other (at least on Izaya's side because apparently the debt collector knew him from before) it was nice to have something more than the cold empty apartment for himself. As an owner of the place he didn't demand the payment for a room. Besides, he had this weird feeling that even if he would ask Shizuo-kun would make some half-assed reply with a lot of swearing. The brunette raised in bed staring at the door to his bedroom still waiting for some sound of Heiwajima to finally move to go to bed. What was taking him so long... With giving one more minute he finally got up and maneuvered his body to sit himself in the wheelchair. He went to the door and as quietly as he could he pressed the handle. With muffled sound of his moves thanks to rubby wheels he passed the corridor and parked at the platform of his elevator. On his way down he saw a body laying on the leather couch. In the darkness illuminated by the lights from the street he could recognize the white shirt and the mop of bright hair than the whole body but still someone was laying in there. Izaya's sigh could be heard in the silence of the apartment only filled with a soft hum of the mechanisms of the elevator. After it stopped he left a break of the chair and made his way to the couch picking the small blanket from the backrest of the couch other's end. Through the backrest on the end where Shizuo was laying he throw the cover carelessly just for the sake of it with a disdainful grimace. After the rush of air from the blanket he could smell the alcohol from him. _Out cold..._ Izaya sighed once again. For the past few days he was doing that more and more- sighing. _And because of this excuse of a man on top of that..._ There were things that was driving Izaya crazy. Like his smoking- even if he was asked to smoke on the balcony he still started the flame indoors for the end of the cigarette to lit. Or leaving the floor in the bathroom wet after his shower and not placing Izaya's shower chair back in. Or not turning the tap in the sink completely off after he was done with the dishes. Or swearing like sailor and snapping at everything Izaya was saying. And this constant scowl...

 

Izaya needed to admit having the same creature that hunted him in his dreams a while ago now napping on his couch after the said man's work was bizarre. Heiwajima was dead to the world... and drunk adding one more thing to the list the brunet disliked. Izaya was not sure what was into the work of a debt collector but apparently today must have been really tiering. The blond collapsed on the couch after he had come back past the usual time he was back home. Back home... For sure He had some other place to stay. At least he had had one a little more than a week ago. So why he was still here?

 

_I'm going to make you tell me the truth on your own..._

 

Izaya rolled his eyes. Truth, huh? About what? They still hadn't talked about that. After Izaya's cheeky comment Shizuo had just huffed and left taking the spare bedroom. It didn't help that Izaya had been calling after him. And just like that they were living together. On Shinra's next visit the underground doctor had asked if he was fine. It surprised Izaya. _Was Shizuo-kun's hatred that deep? What have I done to him?_

 

Izaya rested on the backrest bending so he could better see the blond's face. The brunet could see the droll pulling near Shizuo's face laying flat on the seat. Once again he rolled his eyes. _Sometime's he is such an idiot..._ He leaned on his arms more and get closer look. The blue sunglasses were crooked from the laying position. Shaking his head Izaya pulled them by the frame and placed on his own lap. The blond hair that had fall on Shizuo's nose probably started to tickle him and his face pulled in that scowl of his with wrinkled forehead and nose. With a little hesitation Izaya took off the bleach stands with a carrase to not wake him up. His expression relaxed, he smacked his lips and with a loud sigh he once again settled down. Izaya's shocked expression was placed with a silent giggle covered by his hands. After the brunet calmed down the once again leaned on the backrest and looked at the sleeping face with a shadow of a smile. _Your such a child when your drunk... Little Shizu-chan..._ The smile diseapired completely. _Shizu_...

 

'...chan...' Izaya whispered staring with a schock at the unconscious body.

 

He pushed himself from the couch rolling a few feet away from it. The glasses on his lap fell on to the floor with a clatter. Izaya only gazed at it and then almost as if the devil was chasing him he wheeled to the platform.

 

*

 

 _The bear was chasing him right into a middle of the crowd. Izaya was trapped. Nowhere to escape. Faces spinning around him. And finally through the crowd the animal reviled itself. Heavy steps with a scratching noise of the claws dragged through the black asphalt. Izaya pulled out the butter knife from his coat._ Butter knife? _What was it against the beast making it's way to him? Even on the disadvantage Izaya attacked first. He slashed the animal with it with no result. Not even a scratch._

 

_But he will defeat the monster and then after it will fall he would bury his face in still warm gold fur. Hug this wide neck and lay till his own life will leave him._

 

_The flash of the fireworks on the side of his vision picked his interested and Izaya looked that way. The crack of the firework was pierced by the roar so load it shook his whole body. Before he could react the attack of the creature was coming. He pulled his arms in front of his body to cover his chest. The clawed paw landed on his arms and sen dded him way back._

 

_He was laying looking at the blackness of the street._

 

Kill me. Kill me or I will finally kill you. I have enough... Enough of living like this.... It needs to be you...

 

_The ringing in his ears was disturbed by the distant calling. His name. This growling voice..._

 

 _'Izaya!' he heard the roar_.

 

*

 

'Izaya!' he heard the scream.

 

His eyes snapped open. With a heavy breathing he was staring at the golden irises shadowed by the golden stands. Scowling face that finally pulled away from his. The reek of the alcohol.

 

'Fucking finally!' the blond yelled and then grasped with one hand his aching head. 'Damn, you were screaming like if somebody was fucking skinning you alive! I could hear you from downstairs, you scum!... Gee... My head...' he finally mumbled.

 

Shizuo finally raised up from the bed and made his way to the entrance. Almost after his Izaya rose in his bed only to fall with a whimper from the stifles of his body. At that Heiwajima turned and with a suspicious look glanced at him.

 

'Are you fine?' he asked finally.

 

'I'm not fucking fine, you...' Izaya hissed grabbing at his legs and curling into a ball.

 

'I'll get us some painkillers' Shizuo sighed and left.

 

On his way down Shizuo huffed pushing his hand into pockets. On his way he was staring at steps of stairs with a distant look while passing each one. He had heard Izaya from living room. Closer he had got the clearer he could hear the words. 'DO IT' pierced with a scream every few times. _So Izaya still remembers..._ Deep down he knew that Izaya had answers for his questions. Somewhere deep down...

 

Shizuo stopped in the end of the stairs. The scowl was placed by the small smile. _I'm glad... Than he is still the same Izaya I know..._

 


	4. Chapter 4

Izaya was oppose to turn on the computer for reasons unknown to him. He just couldn't. But staring at the small screen of his smart phone was tiring after some time. So he took place behind the desk and with hesitation pulled his hand pushing the button on the hardware. He was staring at the computer screen with a distant look in his eyes. After two weeks he finally opened the damn thing. He didn't break the password. It just came to him after finally finding the courage to turn on the device. The muscle memory doing the whole work for him. The quite whizzing of the fan could be heard in the background. And the screen was shaded in blue with the spin twisting in rebooting the system.

 

To be honest he was scared of the things inside of it. He didn't know why. He had this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach as if his parents would caught his in the middle of the night watching porn... but what he could know about that. His adolescents years lost to him. But still... Now he had a roommate who refuse to leave and believe him he tried to remove him from his own apartment. Overtime he called the police for them to come and arrest the unwanted tenant they refuse to arrive or just not show up. That happened every time he said his name and address. What was UP with those people to refuse help in that case? His apartment exists as well as him so why they were saying that there was no records on? After a week he had stopped to bother so that way he was stuck with Heiwajima Shizuo. _And four weeks passed so quickly..._

 

Orihara once again started to ignore the blond after the morning after his drinking incident. Izaya was not stupid. He knew that apparently he has known Shizuo from his “past life”. At least bartender was behaving as if he had known him from somewhere. His too familiar way of speaking to him. Constant complaing about the things Izaya was doing. It was not the case that they haven't pulled civil conversations. It was the moment when Shizuo cut the conversation and started rambling about “shit” Izaya was pulling to flummox him (of course with a lot of swearing and was simpler vocabulary in the sentence but Izaya was way beyond that to quote).

 

The brunet was fond of children's shows watching them for hours. One time Shizuo just sat at the couch and silently started to watch it with him. After the third episode the blond finally spoke asking about the reason for Izaya to watch “this crap”. While laying on the leather couch with his head on the hard leather pillow and hands under it he looked at the Heiwajima siting at the other end of the furniture. The man was not looking at him but glaring at the colorful screen. In his hands there was a pack of cigarettes ( _American Spirit_ ) and the lighter. They were sooo different. The two of them yet Izaya couldn't shake of the feeling that it was something he finally accomplished. It felt peaceful even with the whole bickering and exchanged glares. Orihara smiled and turned his eyes back to the show.

 

_'I don't know. I just like them.'_

 

_Why did he like..._

 

His thoughts were interrupted by the lock in the front door and mumbled “ _I'm home_ ”. Rusty red eyes turned from the doorway to the corridor to the monitor of the computer that was glowing with the picture of the desktop. The whole screen was filled with folders and apps. _Where should I start..._ And with that he started to open each of them completely ignoring the greeting of his roommate. The sound of shuffling could be heard and then quite footsteps that reach near the desk. At the silence and third opened folder with a password he didn't know Izaya looked up. Shizuo's face was almost red and that vein on the side of his head was pulsing dangerously. Izaya was taken aback by the picture of the ventilating blond in front of him. _What was his problem...?_

 

'I knew you were fucking bluffing, you pice of shit!' the blond shouted and with clenched fists made his way to the other side of the desk Izaya was siting at.

 

'Bluffing?' the brunet parroted.

 

'You're doing your shady business while I'm at work! I am fuck knew it!' he grabbed the black shirt lifting the skinny body from the wheelchair.

 

Izaya shocked grabbed at the hand holding him in an iron grip. He looked at the tinted eyes with confusion. Before he could ask about anything he was thrown back at the seat of the chair. He winced at the ache in his back and the wheelchair rolled back with the impact. Izaya cringed at the assault. _This man was so unpredictable!_ One minute he was calm as a lake on the summer and on the other he was as a ocean while the storm hit.

 

'What is your problem, Shizuo-kun?!' Izaya finally lifted his eyes to glare at the man.

 

'Don't fucking ' _Shizuo-kun_ ' me!' the blond breathed fire. 'You were lying! This whole fucking time!' he started to make his way to the crippled man.

 

'No, no, no!' Izaya shouted with his hands flying in front of him in the negation. 'I just know the password! I just know the password!' but apparently this was not good enough answer.

 

Shizuo lifted him once again by the shirt and dangling with his feet few centimeters from the floor he lifted the clenched fist. Izaya closed his eyes preparing himself for a punch.

 

'It's true!' Izaya shouted. 'God, I'm telling the truth!'

 

'You have ten seconds to fucking convince me, flee' Shizuo hissed with a fist prepared behind his head to throw at the raven.

 

'It just happened!' Izaya whizzed with his mouth dry from the stress he putted his hands on blonds shoulders for the support- the material of the shirt stretching. 'I got frustrated with my phone and finally turned on the computer. I don't even remember what I've typed! It just worked! You need to believe me!'

 

'Why should I?!' Shizuo almost yelled at his face and with that Izaya winced once again.

 

'And why can't you?!' finally Izaya snapped. 'What have I done to you to not believe me?!'

 

At that words both Shizuo and Izaya froze. Slowly Heiwajima's hold lessen making them both fall in the same time with an exhaustion. Both of them were breathing hard- Izaya with a close death experience through his mouth and Shizuo trying to calm himself down taking the air deep through his nose. They were staring at the floor not even trying to look at each other.

 

'Because the only thing I had heard from you through years were lies...' Shizuo said and resumed his calming exercise.

 

Izaya looked up at him with surprise finally hearing something about himself from the blond.

 

'You had been lying to me' Shozuo repeated. 'And making my life a living hell...' he greeted his teeth. 'There was not even a one day when you hadn't tried to bring up this... this monster in me...' he hanged his head lower than it has been.

 

Izaya's eyes widened at that. With disbelieve he was staring at the blond seeing the broken shell of a man constantly being on guard around him. He was seeing the human broken by the accusation thrown at him. The emotions finally slipping through the cracks of insecurity. With calmed breath Izaya just rested his forehead on the shoulder of the other man to only turn it to look at the side of his desk. _Monster in you..._

 

'Show me...' Izaya finally whispered. 'Just show me...'

 

Shizuo looked surprised at the dark top of the head of Orihara and seeing where Izaya's eyesight was turned to he grabbed at the pipe of the desk and with a solid grip he twisted the metal making the whole thing to tremble in his grip. At the sound of squeaking metal Izaya could hear the dull crack somewhere in the back of his head. The raven stared at the metal leg with wide eyes with his head still resting on the shoulder. Slowly fingers unclenched reviling marks they made after themselves.

 

'You...' Izaya rasped not exactly knowing what he mean by it.

 

'No it was you. It was always you make me lose the control. Only to show me I'm a monster. Why, Izaya, why?' staring at the same fingerprints on the desk.

 

'I... I don't know...' the ex-informant turned his head hiding his face in the shoulder giving him support.

 

'I think we need to talk for once' Shizuo stated looking back at the black mop of hair.

 

Izaya's only response was silent nodding into a mussel ed sholder.

 

*

 

They were siting on the couch. Izaya's back supported by two pillows with legs stretched and Shizuo siting on the edge of the couch somewhere near Izaya's hips. The brunet was playing with his fingers scratching the jagged edge of his nails staring at them like it was the most important thing in his life. He felt uncomfortable siting this close to someone knowing about him more than he knew about himself. Finally, Izaya would know what was this man's problem with him. And even Kishitani-sensei knew him so Izaya was not feeling alarmed through this whole time. He trusted Kishitani-sensei even if he was not a material for the most trustful person on this planet but still. He trusted him. So Shizuo's staying was not a problem even with his brooding around and making Izaya sighed more than he used to- at least for the time he remembered (so for the past two years). With a sighed Shizuo started staring at his hand closed as for prayer and elbows supported on his knees.

 

'We've met at Raisin Academy. It was...' Shizuo chuckled' To be honest it was the worst fucking timing for the introduction' he looked briefly at Izaya to see if he listens and then back at his own hands.' But you know Shinra! Oh... yeah...' he realized the faux pas. ' You don't... ' he hanged his head lower. 'Well, let's say that it didn't turn well. After that we had been fighting a lot. You framed me for a fucking murder' he hissed. 'After that we had been fighting more after I was cleared of changes. So... that's it' he finally said nodding at himself and placing his hands on tights like a victorious man.

 

Izaya looked at him surprised. And narrowed his eyes.

 

'That's it?' he hissed himself.

 

'What do you mean 'that's it', you fuck flea!' he shouted.

 

'You decided to move here as a recompansation for pulling at each other braids in school? Unbelievable!' Izaya shoot his arms high in the air and crossed them on his chest looking at the side. 'And THAT was your 'we need to talk' thing?' he pouted still looking at the backrest of the couch.

 

'It is big deal!' Shizuo yelled. ' You framed me!'

 

'You were innocent, weren't you? So it was obvious that with enough evidence and witnesses you would be released. Don't be so dramatic!' he shouted himself turning his way with his arms still crossed like a child that didn't want to admit of a prank.

 

'Whhhhhhaaaat?!' the same vein popped out once again on the side his bleached head. 'You fleabag...'

 

'And why do you call me all those awful names...' he mumbled once again looking at the side to not look the blond straight to the face but turning once again to glare at those golden brown eyes.' We used to be classmates. Not in the best relationship but still! Poor, poor Shizu-chan- he mimicked the small pout y child rising to a siting position without the support on his back and at that Shizuo backed off after hearing was too familiar nickname.- Boys will be boys... that's stupid....' he once again murmured under his nose and fell back on the pillows.

 

'It was you, you fucker, how started to fucking clap your hands for me after once again I'd lost it!' he saind with his teeth clenched.

 

'And what was I supous to do?!' asked Izaya in the heat of the conversation. 'Scold you like everybody else?!' he pulled his hand pointing his forefinger in the accusation. 'But it was you who told me that you didn't like me! And besides you told me to shut up! That was beyond rude!' he poked blond's chest still fiercely staring at him.

 

'You were annoying and waaay to “friendly” to call me by my name!' he grabbed at the hand that dig into his skin with the finger in the place he had the one silver scar that hadn't healed well enough. 'And you slashed me too!'

 

'You tried to punch me, you brute!' he finally shouted pulling his hand.

 

'Because...!' his yell was unfinished with Shizuo staring at Izaya with disbelieve. 'You DO fucking remember, you little pest!' he growled.

 

'I... I...' this distracted Izaya and his mouth tried to spell smothering but without the success. 'I don't know how...'

 

'No!' Shizuo said grabbing both of shocked man's hands and staring at his straight in the eye. 'No! That's good! Now, fucking tell me why?'

 

'Why what?' the raven asked taken aback by the proximity.

 

'Why did you want for me to kill you?'

 

'You... you tried to kill me?' Orihara asked with disbelieve. ' You tried to kill me?!' he shouted with more force after not getting the answer back. 'Oh my God... You did try to kill me!' he finally stated after not receiving the answer and trying to pull his hands away while struggling with the strong grip.

 

'We tried to kill each other all the fucking time' the blond shouted pulling the other man to himself as if that would reason him. 'Just try to remember!' he barked but seeing the wince of pain on Izaya's face after he tightned his hold on his hands without realising it he loosens the grip.

 

'Leave me! Get out!' due to the lesser hold he pulled one hand and hit the blond's shoulder. 'Get out of here, you beast!'

 

Shizuo released him as if the hold burned him or maybe it was his words that hurt Shizuo. With a disbelieve he was looking at him and slowly he straightened his back while the brunet turned his back and curled into a ball trying to take as little space as he could on the couch. Izaya was hugging his hands to himself staring with wide eyes at the backrest. Heiwajima snapped of the shock after hearing the insult and with the cold eyes and a snarl he cornered the man laying on the couch leaning on the back rest with one hand and on the seat pillow behind Izaya's back. He brings closer his face to raven's head so he could hiss to his ear.

 

'Don't forget who made me a beast, you fucking flea...' he almost had this sick desire to bit off the ear he was talking to. 'I'm your beast, you pest. You made me this way and I will make you to tell me why' with that he pushed back and stood up from the couch.

 

After hearing the front door slamming Izaya only curled more in his fetal position on the sofa shutting his eyes.

 

_You beast..._

 

' _Oh my God... he said that..._ ' that thought was like echo in Izaya's head.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this one and two previous chapters are my weekend of not sleeping so I thought that I would share it with You guys. Hope You will like it. It's that my muse is still with me and I got attached to this story at some point and this whoooole chain of events is in my head so better use it. :D

After two days Izaya's supplies of the food finally run out. He was staring at the empty fridge. He tried to call his sisters. After the fifth call they picked up and after hearing his reason of the call they laughed and said to get his groceries himself. “You're a big boy, Iza-nii” Mairu said and ended the call. Izaya pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at the dark screen of the device. _Well they're helpful. Why it doesn't surprise me.._. Izaya sighed and looked around the empty kitchen. Not even the kitchen was empty. The whole apartment felt... off. Too quiet. Too cold. Izaya gritted his teeth and frowned. He turned from the fridge and made another call.

 

'Hello?' Shinra's voice could be heard from the speaker.

 

'Kishitani-sensei' Izaya said in the akwnolagment. 'I was wondering is that courier of yours could me a little favor.'

 

'Haah?' the underground doctor asked. 'Your back in business?'

 

'Wha...?' Izaya even pulled the phone just to looked a little bit surprised at the emoticon of the caller. ' What business?'

 

'Nevermind. What do you want, Izaya-kun?'

 

'I was wondering if she could deliver me few things from shop' he finally admitted with closed eyes in a gesture of shame. 'I run out of ingredients for...'

 

'Are you seriously asking me to send my beloved fiancee for groceries?' the laugh could be heard in the back of the Shinra's voice still trying to stay serious. 'Why can't you order them online?'

 

'Apparently world depends on the online payment too much and I cannot remember my pin code for the past few days...' Izaya replied a little bit embaressed.

 

'My lovely waifu is going to do them only for our love nes... Auch! Celty, love! That hurts!' the sharp movements could be heard from the background. 'Haa?! No way! Izaya-kun! What happened to Shizuo-kun?' he finally asked apparently receiving the great news from the Headless Rider herself.

 

'We... There was some disagreement among us and he needed to leave my place' Izaya said with his brow twitching. _This stupid babbling..._

 

'But why?!' Shinra whinnied.

 

'Yoooouuuu...' Izaya's patience for this so-called doctor was running thin. 'You didn't tell me he tried to kill me.'

 

'Well nothing new in that matter' Shinra said a little bit bored.

 

'Nothing...nothing new?!' the raven snapped. 'What kind of friend are you, ha?!'

 

'Your best and only' Kishitani replied with a grin that could be heard even through the phone.

 

He could hear a one sided conversation muffled probably by the hand. After few “okay” the person on the other side of the call once again greeted Izaya with his presence.

 

'You could eat today in our place. But you need to get here.'

 

'I told you that I don't remember my...'

 

'It's okay' Shinra interrupted him. 'After you'll get to our place we would pay for you.'

 

'Really? I'll return the money as soon as I could remember...'

 

'Don't worry Izaya-kun' Shinra said with this knowing-all way of speaking. 'See you in a bit' and without waiting for the reply he ended the call.

 

Izaya looked at the screen informing him about finished call with the name and time of the whole phone call. _One and only, huh? Time to reconsider my list of friends..._

 

*

 

Shizuo was staring at the front door to Celty's place. It was nice of them to invite him for a dinner even if he suffered for the whole night after his friend's experiments- he couldn't name it any other way. It was an invitation on a short notice but he was still glad that he could spend some time with the dulluhan. In those two days there was no time for a meeting and after his brief conversation right after he stormed out of Izaya's apartment he could tell that even with a too short talk Celty was trying to comfort him. Her words were always like a balm for his worries. And Shizuo needed to admit that he was worried. And on top of that he needed to admit that he was worried about Izaya. This little pest grow fond on him in their short time. Don't get him wrong. He was still pissing him off the whole time but not in this cruel way. More like a younger, spoiled sibling making his life harder with biting remarks.

 

After that evening he had come back to his own apartment that was empty and quiet with a layer of dust and spoiled milk in the fridge. Deciding that he needed to buy some things he had left the apartment not even bothering to lock it (noone in their right mind would try to brake to his place). He texted Celty if she had had some time and with a quick reply they set up the meeting point. She had spotted him standing with a small plastic bag, leaning on the railing on the bridge with a half smoked cigar ate dangling from his lips while staring at the sidewalk. And he had told her everything. About his suspicion out Izaya faking the whole thing. About him living temporary with the person he almost killed. About their day to day life with a small talk about TV shows, Izaya's pedantic tendencies about putting everything on the right place and cleaning after himself- even if it was half-finished glass of milk standing on the counter for ten minutes. Small things that had been driving him crazy but were livable.

 

And Shizuo missed that. The thought that after the work we would see another person in the apartment filled with brightness of the turned on lights and warm smell of bitter coffee that Izaya was consuming at amounts that couldn't be healthy. And that was what hit him the most. That he actually missed living with this pedantic asshole. Even if the past self of the man was more cunning and bitchy he could hear some know-it-all remarks or the same dry sense of humor. So apparently it was a part of his fucking lovely personality, that was out of the question. And he missed it.

 

But still there was no guaranty if Izaya would regain his memories and if he would then for him to not kill Shizuo in his sleep. There was no assurance that the time they've spent together would mean to the ex-infromant anything. Sure as hell Shizuo started to feel less guilty for the things he had done to him and in a twisted way (that was leaving a worst aftertaste than a cigarettes) seeing that as a best thing that had happened to their acquaintanceship. Or at least Shizuo was feeling that way. Apparently leg cramps and immobility was bothering the other man daily. On top of that there had been few night terrors incidents. Shizuo only had reacted to the first one when he had been sleeping on the couch. After that it had happened three more times. He could hear the shouts from the master bedroom screaming for “the monster” to “do it”. And on those nights Shizuo had been laying on his borrowed bed curling into himself and gripping a pillow praying that after the louder scream he wouldn't tear the material apart. One time he could swear that Izaya just had fell from his own bed with a loud thud of a falling body and then cursing. Shizuo hadn't helped- he knew that if not this version of Orihara then the past one after regaining his memories would skin him alive.

 

Shizuo sighed and finally pulled his closed fist to knock. But before that the door opened on its own or rather with Shinra's help.

 

'Finally, your heavy footsteps could be heard from the living-room' Shinra said cheerfully.

 

'Oh, really?' the annoyed face with a ticking brow was replaced to his clam expression.

 

'That aaaand... I could see you from the kitchen window' he places the forefinger to his chick. 'Or more like your hair and the smoke above your head.'

 

'That's enough Kishitani-sensei!' the familiar voice shouted from the apartment and then Shizuo could hear something rolling. 'I'm leaving' in the door way Shizuo could finally see the person on a wheelchair and his whole body just froze. “You didn't mention that there's going to be another company at the dinner.'

 

'Oh Izaya-kuuuun' Shinra whined and grabbed at the handles before the crippled man could pass the doorway. 'My lovely Celty made this feast for you guys!'

 

'Yhhhyy...' Shizuo acknowledge what Kishitani said not sure if it was a feast or homicide.

 

'Irrelevant. I'm going' the raven tried to move the wheels without the success. Shinra grabbed the handles at the back of the wheelchair and refused to let go.

 

'Iza~ya-kuuun...'

 

'Your whining is unbearable. I'm going to eat and leave' and with that he placed his hands on the resting arms and let Shinra pull the chair and move it down the corridor.

 

 _Not even looking at me, huh...?_ Shizuo entered mumbling apologize for the intrusion and taking his shoes off. He could see Celty standing right to the dinning-table waving his way. Without the word he waved her back and made his way to his usual spot. He sat in the chair with Celty and Shinra on both sides and Izaya on the other side of the table. _This is going to be a long evening...._

 

And so Shinra's cheerfulness filled the place and his babbling was the only sound heard by the guests. At some point Shinra said something about “Bloody White Day” and at that Shizuo groaned and Celty showed the screen of her PDA to the people at the table: “Oh no, once again...”. Izaya looked up a little bit interested. He realized that whenever Shinra was talking in that too happy voice but with a glint in an eye almost reflected by his spectacles it was some sort of informations he tried to tell Izaya - and Izaya alone- covered by the story that didn't make sense.

 

'Do you remember guys when in every shooe-locker there was this love-letter?' Shinra made a gesture almost as if he was showing his company the shape of the letter while kissing his own palm. 'We thougth that it was our seniors doing' and his expression changed and he sends a glance to Izaya.

 

The brunet jumped in his seat looking surprised at Shinra. After a brief second he turned from Izaya, grabbed his drink and with a grin he started to make theories and saying them to Shizuo. Izaya looked at his barely touched plate with a frown. _Bloody White Day... The envelope was laced in pink.._. Izaya almost could see the piece of paper with a feminine handwriting. He could smell the faint odor of the sweetness of peach perfumes sprayed on the back of the letter. “ _I missed the chance to give you something..._ ”

 

'But there was only one envelope...' Izaya mumbled and the rest of the table went quiet, after realizing that no-one said anything he looked up. Shinra had this smug expression, Celty's PDA was turned down with a temporary weakness in the wrist and Shizuo was looking at him with wide eyes. After that the hell broke loose. The doctor stared to laugh, the other guest stood up from his seat slamming his fists on the surface of the table making it groan in the protest and the dulluhan was showing hurriedly written messages to Heiwajima for him to calm down.

 

'So it WAS you, you fuck flea...' Shizuo growled.

 

'W-what?' almost like from a daze Izaya shook up from the shock and glared at the blond. 'I- I haven't been on...' once again he looked at his plate' on the Second Ground at 5 p.m...'

 

'Oh Izaya-kun...' Shinra said wiping non-existing tear. 'Day after day my hopes of your regaining your memories are growing. Wonderful!' he yelled shooting his arms above his head spilling the content of the glass giving it no mind at all. 'So there was originally only one letter! You just proved one of my theories!' he slammed the glass back on the table almost missing his own plate.

 

Shizuo still standing looked at the spectacle man like he had gone crazy. After that Shinra leand on his elbow and placed his chin on the back of his hand.

 

'Ne, Izaya-kun...' he called to pick the raven's attention. 'To whom was this first letter?' he smiled like Cheshire cat.

 

'N-not sure...' he tried to grab the memories with eyes widely moving from one dish to another. 'But there was only one letter!' he yelled hitting the surface of the table himself and taking everyone aback.

 

'My, my...' Shinra pa rotted Izaya's way of speaking. 'Finally found the courage to confess?'

 

'You wish, you delusional pervert' the anger could be seen after a second of a shock and with that Izaya moved his wheeling chair leaving unfinished meal and wheeling his way down the corridor to leave the place.

 

After the door shut with a loud bang Shizuo fell on his seat totally confused by the conversation between two friends.

 

'What was that about?' the blond finally asked.

 

Shinra took of his glasses and with a napkin started to wipe the drop of his spilled drink from it. He smiled Shizuo's was still making circles with the material on the glass.

 

'Trying to trigger his memories. As you can see- it failed' he pulled the glasses to the light to look for more stains. 'His memories come and go. That was one of his past doctor's observations back at Kanto' he placed them back on the bridge of his nose. 'I bet you didn't know that his immobility was not caused by the injury per se' he continued with this creepy smile. 'They're post traumatic.'

 

'Post-what?' Shizuo growled.

 

'Post-tramatic' Celty shown on her PDA taking matters in her own hands and trying to explain as simply as she could. 'It means that Izaya's inability of walking is only in his head.'

 

Shizuo looked at them like they were talking at foreigner language. Every second he moved his gaze from one friend to the other. _Of course_... Nobody was assisting Izaya with moving on and out of the wheelchair. He saw it himself few times. Even if it was only one small, pained step. He could use his legs. But after refusing of using them the muscles were fading day after day. No therapy, no doctors consultations, no medicine.

 

'Shizuo-kun' Shinra finally broke the silence with a serious voice to pick the blond's attention. 'From the discharge form from the hospital it was stated that Izaya refused any sort of help in that matter and here I quote :” as a wired feeling of repayment for the crash he had caused himself” ' Shinra sighed and landed on the backrest. 'Somewhere there he knew that he had been responsible for the state of his own health.'

 

'And... and how he lost his memories?' Shizuo finally asked he should had asked sooner.

 

'Self defense of the brain for the traumatic events' Shinra almost quoted like from the book closing his eyes at the beginning of the sentence. 'He just wanted to forget.'

 

At that Shizuo bolted from his seat and run to the door. He clumsily putted his shoes on, opened the front door with a force so grate that the handle got stuck in the thin wall and run out of the apartment. Celty tried to rise up and run after him but she felt a hand grabbing at the long slaved, black dress. Shinra stopped her shaking his head after he felt her “eyes” on him. He pulled out the PDA.

 

'Why're you stopping me?!' she almost pushed the screen the glasses siting on his nose. Kishitani pulled her hand.

 

'Because, my love, Izaya-kun had a reason to kill himself by Shizuo-kun's hands' he said staring at the plate. 'And the sooner he will realize how stupid this reason was the better.'

 

*

 

Izaya was waiting on the floor above looking through the window that was place on the other side of the wall with an elevator. He heard a loud bang downstairs with the echo on the staircase on the side of the elevator. He glanced at the glowing numbers counting down. Then his name could be heard and he presumed that the blond took the stairs instead to wait for the next ride. His diversion plane worked. After that with a sigh he moved his eyes outside the window. He took out his phone and texted the same driver who almost month ago picked him up in front of the Russian Sushi restaurant. He sent his current address not bothering with waiting. The past few weeks taught him that Heiwajima was too short tempered to not run out from the building and run somewhere deep into a city with a feeling of chasing at the right direction. Izaya was sure that's going to happen. But the worst part was that.... you cannot know someone THAT good to predict what that person is going to do.

 

_Predict, huh?..._

 

The blond hair downstairs catch his eyes. He could see that the man started to run down the main street. After an edge of the window blocked his field of vision he moved to the elevator and pushed the button calling it up. He waited patiently staring at the metal frame on the floor. He tried not to think but his mind was over-thinking everything. He really tried. And he was really tired of not knowing what happened before the crash. Why the person that tried to kill him and likewise was living with him without causing him no harm while he was in the disadvantage? Why he was dreaming about the said man- he just KNEW that the fairy bear was the bartender himself? Why every time he had this undenilebale feeling to start teasing the man and take his whole attention for himself? God, he knew him less than a month and he so has got used to the roommate! Well... they've known each other longer apparently -even if not at best terms- but for Izaya was such a short time. He liked Shizuo-kun's cooking. And his face expressions- Izaya could read from him like from the open book. He growed fond of the heavy cigarette smell eveytime the other was passing him. Or their quiet time in front of the TV when the blond was criticizing almost EVERYTHING and it was not only Izaya's favorite cartoons but also the documentaries or movies. For Heiwajima something was first “annoying” and after the raven explained the issue than it became just “too troublesome”. Shizuo liked simple things- Izaya was aware of that. He could see it in his cooking, in his day to day same clothes choice, unkept hair undisturbed with a hairbrush, his silent company during the evenings and lonely smoke outside on the balcony while admiring the sky instead of glaring at the noisy street. _So why he had troubled himself with living in the same apartment with a person that he apparently hated most of his life?_ Izaya thought of himself as a man of cool calculation and pure logic. And he hoped that the person that has been buried deep in his head had used to be the same. _So there needs to be the answer for Shizuo-kun's question._ And he needed that answer as much as Shizuo.

 

The elevator announced his arrival at the first floor with a dull _ding_. Izaya looked surprised at the metal door that started to open. He was so deep in his thoughts that the whole event of getting downstairs was lost to him. He made his way out of the building to the taxi waiting for him at the side of the pavement with the same driver standing by the door and trunk already open. At the greeting Izaya only nodded as a form of reply. He stopped at the door, placed his feet on the asphalt and with the support of the door frame and the handle on the roof of the car he raised up. His legs were weaker after not using them for so long and the dull ache went through his spine but he balanced himself enough to get into the vehicle. It took a two minutes to the driver to load the chair and with that finished he finally sat down behind the steering wheel. Izaya was patiently waiting the whole time staring at his clapped hands laying on his laps. The engine started and they pulled from the side of the street but the trip was disturbed with the whole car jumping in the stopped and squeaking wheels. The jump made Izaya to look up through the front wind-shield. With hands on the hood, the frown on his face and determined eyes was standing non other than Heiwajima Shizuo glaring into the darkness of the inside of the car and more precisely at the shadow of a person at the backseat. Izaya was gawking at the man with mouth wide open.

 

How he... wh... tch... unpredictable....

 

Shizuo has seen that the driver didn't intend to drive away so with that he left his spot at the front and moved to the side to open the door on the side of the empty seat. Without saying anything he sat down and waited few seconds and with the stillness of everyone inside he leaned on the drivers seat.

 

'Drive' he barked and the driver jumped in his seat. 'For fucks sake just drive!' he growled and after the driver finally pressed the gas Shizuo rested back on the seat back.

 

Izaya was still looking at the blond with the shock expression and after a whole minute he realized that he must look like an idiot. With a snap he closed his mouth and the teeth clicked with a sharpness of the move. He frowned and with the glare he finally asked after the car has taken the first turn.

 

'WHAT are you doing, Shizuo-kun?' his companion flinched at the way Izaya has spoken his name.

 

'W-we're going home' he said with nervous determination looking stubbornly out of the window.

 

For the brief second Izaya wanted to argue but then he remembered his thoughts in the elevator. Like a child with a tantrum he throws himself on the backseat and with crossed arms also started to pay attention to the outside world. The driver was looking nervously at his clients on the back in the rear-mirror. ' _It's going to be a long ride_ ' three of them thought.

 

It has taken twenty minutes before they arrived to the building where Izaya's apartment was. The silence was so think that the driver was sweating under the pressure. The first person that left the car was Shizuo -while Izaya was paying- he opened that trunk and pulled the wheelchair he placed it at the exit on Izaya's side and with outstretched hand as a gesture of help he waited for the ex-informant to place his feet back on the pavement. After lifting his eyes Izaya spotted the inviting palm of Shizuo's hand. He smacked it with “ _I don't need your help_ ” and once again used handle attached to the roof and the door to get out. Shizuo taken aback stepped back making some room for him.

 

Same thing happened in front of the door to the apartments when Shizuo tried to help with opening them while Izaya's hands has been shaking and he couldn't put the key inside. Inside the whole silence thing made Shizuo finally ask what was wrong. Or at least he thought he aske nicely.

 

'What's MY ' _fucking problem_ '?!' Izaya yelled turning to Shizuo who was still leaning on the door with crossed arms.

 

'Y-yeah...' murmured the blond.

 

'My PROBLEM is with you!' he screamed once again and continued with the rised voice. 'I'm contused beyond hell! I'm would throw you through THAT door if that could be possible! But in my current state it IS NOT! And it seems it was NOT a car crash as everyone had been telling me for the past years! For YEARS, Shizuo!' Izaya slamed his clenched fist on an armrest and at that the blond flinched with his eyes still staring at the floor. 'You tried to kill me!' he finnaly screamed and after that there was a silene interrupted by heavy breathing of the clippled man. 'And...and the worst part...' Izaya said weakly' The worst part is that I cannot make myself to hate you...' Shizuo looked up at the raven still supporting himself by the wooden surface of the door. 'Because I don't remember...' he looked down at his lap covering his face with the dark bangs of his hair. 'And I want to remember...'

 

After that Shizuo moved to the man standing in the middle of the living-room and kneeled in front of him. He bended his head so he was able to look at Izaya's face. The tears of frustration could be seen at his eyes not ready to fall. At spotting Heiwajima's face he turnes his own and shut his eyes. Shizuo took a deep breath and slowly let it out. He placed his hand under plat chin and pulled Izaya's face up so he would look him at him. After catching those rusty eyes he said with the calm he couldn't even imagine he possessed.

 

'I'll stay with you and help you remember' he stated.

 

'Y-you hate me...' the ex-infromant said pushing the large hand away with his own.

 

'You're not the same as you used to be' the side of Shizuo's lips lifted for a second. ' You're quite livable person.'

 

'And... and what after I'll remember?' Izaya asked with a ragged breath.

 

'After that you will answer to my question.'

 

'You're so simple minded' the raven chuckled once again looking down a little bit. 'What after THAT?'

 

'I'll leave' he pointed out' and we won't see each other ever again, Izaya.'

 

'What if I won't let you go?' Orihara asked looking up to meet eyes more of the color of the coffee thanks to the dim light from the corridor.

 

'Believe me' Shizuo said with a sigh' you are going to.'

 

With a sad look Izaya nodded finally. With a determination he griped his armrests moving a little bit forward.

 

'Let's do that!' he said with a strength in his voice. 'Make me remember! And I'm going to show you that you're wrong!'

 

Shizuo was taken aback at the first but then with a small smile he nodded.

 


	6. Chapter 6

For the past week at his free time of work Shizuo was taking Izaya to the places that could be familiar to him. Shizuo needed to admit that after he approached Izaya differently as a completely new person rather than hated by him informant he felt the tension in their life has disappeared. Even with a fatigue after the shift or early rise before his working hours he was feeling more lively than ever before even with the whole night and late morning spent in bed. The face that haunted him through years without the cruel smile on it was quite nice to look at and the friendly bickering rather than mean remarks were refreshing. He was telling Izaya stories of their encounters without a mention of the thrown vending machine here or there and without the exchanged words on that time. They were strolling around slowly enjoying warm spring weather with a preludium to the unbearable summer heat. People were staring at them but Izaya was behaving totally normal as if he hasn't noticed it.

 

They've met a lot of people like those high schoolers. It was their last year and mere weeks till graduation. And after the blond one refused to introduce and the girl behind they mumbled her name trying to be as far away from Izaya the dark-haired boy said his name with a smile. Izaya only laughed and finally spilled a joke that almost choked him.

 

'Oh my!' he said trying to catch his breath. 'Your name sounds like air-conditioner' he said wiping non-existing tear.

 

'Actually funny thing, Izaya-san' said Mikado scratching his check with embarrassment.' You said the same thing when we've met the first time.'

 

'Ara?' the brunet deadpanned. 'At least my sense of humor hasn't changed!' he said happily.

 

Shizuo was witnessing the whole encounter silently with a frown. He could see that the blond boy and the girl were wary of Izaya while the third one of friends was carelessly chatting with the amnesic man. As if not aware of the previous person he had used to be. The scowl deepened on Heiwajima's face. If that was the matter than this boy could be as dangerous as Izaya as an informant. Boyish behavior was not sitting right with Shizuo and his gut was always right. Without the word he turned the wheelchair and headed to Russian Sushi. Izaya leaned on the armrest and while trying to see past Shizuo waved friendly saying his goodbye to the air-conditioner boy.

 

'What a lovely young people' stated Izaya happily looking forward.

 

'Aha...' murmured Shizuo without more elaboration.

 

From that day, so for the past three days, they were regulars in Simon's restaurant. Finally, on their last walk the raven asked him a question that has thrown him of balance.

 

'Don't we have some happy moments?'

 

'Happy?' Shizuo parottet.

 

'You know' he said turning to the blond who was behind him pushing the wheelchair by the handles attached to it at the back' ... funny ones. Have we been only fighting all the time?'

 

Shizuo stared at him missing the edge of the pavement and with the bump Izaya grabbed the armrest for support looking in front of him and for that Shizuo was thankful. He didn't reply and to be honest he didn't have a clue what he could possibly show Izaya that could contain the happy memories. He didn't say anything completely ignoring the question. After they were back home Shizuo retired to his room quite early trying to avoid Izaya if the other man would remember the question he has asked on the streets of Ikebukuro. He pulled the excuse of being exhausted after work and walk.

 

Laying in bed he was thinking what on earth he could show Izaya that contained a happy memory. He didn't even know if the raven HAD some good memories. Always messing with people and their lives. But there was one memory that Shizuo remembered that was at least a little bit positive in their “relationship”. On the next day that was a little bit cloudy but still without the rain they were standing in front of the gates of Raira High School. Before the merge of two schools it was called Rajin High School.

 

'Why you've taken me here?' Izaya smirked with a teasing gleam in his eyes. 'You're going to pick up teenage girls with a line of a caring nurse?'

 

'Oh shut the fuck up' he said with an annoyance pushing the wheelchair and Izaya laughed at that. 'Actually it was our high school' he said after the laughter died while passing the ground yard.

 

Izaya with a picked interest looked up at the windows. He could see the corridors and the closed doors to the classrooms. Shizuo was looking with the same interest at the glass on the third floor. He could almost see the younger version clad in black uniform of the broken man in the wheelchair in front of him. From the moment they've met Shizuo wanted for the flea to vanish into thin air and at some point exactly that happened. Orihara Izaya that was mocking him with mischief glint in his eye and a smile as sharp as his damn knifes, who almost decade ago was standing on that floor before the entrance ceremony, was't among them anymore. Day after day Shizuo realized that the person he was living with is someone else or at least less cruel than his mortal enemy. _Mortal enemy..._ The grip on the handlebars tiffed squeezing the rubby material on them. _Izaya is as good as dead_. No matter what he was showing him to regain his memories nothing was getting them closer to the point of his previous self before he lost the conscious after their final fight.

 

'How did we met, Shizuo-kun?' Izaya finally teared his eyes from the upper windows of the second floor and asked once again turning his head to Heiwajima.

 

'The first time we've seen each other was here' he replied still moving to the entrance. 'I saw you up there looking at me and other students in that weird way' he said completely calm a little bit lost in his own thoughts.

 

'What way?' the innocence of the questions was putting Shizuo off.

 

'Like... like at your own toys... just before setting them on fire' he sighed after he saw that Izaya turned with that look of shame on his face. 'I hated that look. I hated you...'

 

'Do you still hate me?' Izaya mumbled staring at his hands clapped on his lap. 'Would you try to kill me once again?'

 

'That... that depends...' the blond answered after a minute after he stopped in front of closed front door.

 

'I know you would' Izaya whispered in the same moment when Shizuo leaned above the wheelchair to grab the handle and open the door. 'I would make you do that once again... probably...'

 

'Stop saying some random bullshit, you bastard' he pushed the door with a little bit more force than he intended to.

 

'I wanted to, didn't I?' he looked up bending his head back and staring upside-down with a big grin. 'Maybe I would like that again?' with closed eyes he was still grinning as if this was nothing.

 

'Fucking flea... Playing mind-games even now' he barked and pushed the chair to the bottom of the stairs. 'Just make yourself useful and pull the break. We need to leave the wheelchair here.'

 

'Huh...?' a little bit slow to the plan that suppose to be simple and clear to anyone he was siting motionless looking at the blond who moved around him. 'What do you...' he was interrupted by the strong arms that sneaked under his knees and back. Trying to find a balance he gripped the edges of the vest on Shizuo's chest.

 

'Fucking annoying...' he mumbled and trying not to look down he started to climb the stairs. 'I'm not going to struggle with this fucking chair. It would be too troublesome...'

 

Izaya smiled shyly and starred at the wide chest beside his face. On the black material the first thing that picked his attention were his pale, bare hands. He had this funny feeling of his fingers being to “naked” as if there should be something on them. He shook his head. Ridiculous... His long, slim fingers were clinging to the vest. They were no help with securing his position but he felt safer that way even if Shizuo's hold was strong and unbreakable he felt safer with his own hands trying to prevent the fall. They would be more reassuring if he would hook his arms around Shizuo's neck... but that was out of the question. It would be wired... The smell of the faint smoke on Shizuo's clothes was making its way from his nose to the pit of his stomach and back to his throat forming a ball that was almost choking him. His smile fell instantly.

 

'You should stop smoking' he said with a frown on his face and stubborn voice.

 

'Why's that?' he murmured almost bored.

 

'You stink... just plainly awful' he hit him on the chest with an open palm.

 

'I wouldn't imagine that you could say something like that' Shizuo snorted. 'We're almost there so in a second you would breathe your fucking fresh air.'

 

They turned one more time and as promised there was the last set of stairs and a door that with a bright glow in a glass within it could show the piece of gray sky. This time Izaya helped with opening the door and both of them were on the roof of the building. Shizuo made his way to the last bench at the end of the rooftop. He sat Izaya horizontally with his legs on the other side of the seat.

 

'One time I came here for a smoke during the lunch break' Izaya was staring at the man while he started his story. 'I've started to smoke on our last year. It was helping at the beginning to be honest' he put his hand on Izaya's shoulder and with this inhuman strength he made Izaya lay on the bench while he crouched in front of it. The dark clothes that this Izaya was wearing were so similar to the one he used to wear- apparently his wardrobe was in tacked. 'You were laying like this' he moved his eyes to the black shoes at the end of the long seat. 'Asleep...' his eyes moved to thin legs twisted in a wired way due to their immobility. 'So calm...' the narrow hips hugged with this leather belt probably keeping trousers in place to not fall from this skinny form. 'Breathing deeply...' even through black long-slaved shirt he could see the edge were his rib cage was ending and a flat stomach began. 'With your mouth barely open...' he travel with his golden eyes up his neck, he tried to break so many times, to stop for a second on those thin lips. ' Eyes closed with no tension' he finally reach Izaya's rusty-brown, wide opened eyes. He could almost feel this tension in the air of Izaya waiting for something. For some information that would help him remember or at least understand the meaning of them being here. Shizuo tried to swallow this lump in his throat but it didn't help. He huffed hoping to leas the thickness between them. 'And no wrinkles on your forehead' he ruffled black hair with a force making Izaya wince and squeeze his eyes.

 

Shizuo stood up and moved a little bit farther away near the fence with a chain-link. He picked up the pack of smokes from the pocket of his dress-pants. He put the flame of the lighter to the end of the cigarette and took deep breath. He reeeeally didn't like this silence. It only meant that Izaya was thinking and that was not a good sign.

 

'Why didn't you attack me then?' the question has been finally said.

 

Shizuo placed the cigarette to his lips, took a deep breath and kept a biting smoke in his lungs. With a loud exhale he let the toxic fog leave his body and fly up to the sky. He was staring at the gray cloud with a frown.

 

'I don't know...' he said quietly looking down to the soccer field.

 

'Shizuo-kun...'

 

' _Don't be like that, Shizuo-kun._..' he just remembered looking at familiar schoolyard.

 

'... I want to walk again...'

 

Heiwajima squeezed his own eyes and the scowl darkened with deep lines across forehead. _I don't fucking know..._

 

*

 

The trip was a failure. It didn't help Izaya at all. Not even a glimpse of a memory showed even in his behavior. They returned to the apartment with a sore foot in Shizuo's case- the whole day and the trip in dress-shoes was not doing him a favor. They ordered a take-away and while they were waiting Izaya was stubbornly typing on the keyboard. After a shower and a change of clothes he sat on the couch with one hand drying his hair with a towel and another trying to massage a redness on his shin. _Stupid fucking stool in the stupid fucking shower!_ He was taking it out every fucking time only for it to come back on its place. _Can't Izaya just put it out after he's finished?!_ At the mention of his roommate he looked up at the man at work. He stood up and made his way to the other side of the desk. He saw some websites with physiotherapy on the screen. His hand from the top of his head while still trying to get rid of the water from the ends of his hair with a towel fell to his side.

 

'Why're you checking those?' he asked with a stern voice.

 

'Well...' Izaya started writing down some numbers on a piece of paper' I felt it's time to do something about it.'

 

'What changed?' Shizuo's gaze moved to the man beside him.

 

'I... I'm not sure' Izaya lifted a pen staring at the glowing screen. 'It's just... I don't want to be... I don't want to be a burden, okay?' he looked up with a determination. 'I can't get upstairs without an elevator. I can't cook because the stove is too high' he hit a desk with a fist with pan still in it. 'I can't even go to the damn toilet in the middle of the night' after realizing that he has said something embarrassing he once again turned to the monitor. 'It's...'

 

'... Pissing you off' Shizuo finished instead of him after a few seconds of silence.

 

'Yes, something like that...'

 

'Then do it' the blond said with a small smile and Izaya glanced up and nodded then turned back and resumed writing some notes.

 

The smile on Shizuo's face fell after the brunet looked down. He was afraid. Afraid that after Izaya would regain the strength in his legs he would also regain his memories. And to be honest Shizuo was afraid of that more and more day after passing day. He liked how things were. No fighting, no insults, no more wounds or scars. It felt calm. Peaceful. And he couldn't belive that the peace he was looking for his whole life could be found here. Not in this apartment but with this person. Will he find a peace after...

 

Shizuo left the desk and moved to the coffee table in front of the couch to grab his smokes and a lighter to retreat on to the balcony. After the door to the outside was shoved shut Izaya looked up at the figure clad in a dark blue boxers and white t-shirt with a frown.

 

'What's his problem...' he murmured and returned to gathering information.

 

*

 

For the next week or two the peace was undisturbed. They were still taking walks even if not that frequent due to Izaya's sessions in the nearby clinic. But if they were out in the Ikebukuro their presence was not a phenomena anymore. Shizuo's phone was not beeping every few minutes with notifications from Dollar's website with pictures of them together. But Shizuo could see groups of thugs from time to time looming in the dark alleys glaring at the man in the wheelchair. But after they recognized the blond man in a bartender uniform they were backing of to the darkness of those back-street passages. Not everyone forgot the evil caused by Orihara the informant of Shinjuku.

 

One time Izaya asked them to stop at the bookstore. They met Kadota and those two otaku freaks in there. The whole meeting was quite... off. The introduction went well if not for Kadota's teasing comment of hurting his feeling's. Izaya surprised looked at the man in beanie.

 

'Why's that?'

 

'You were using me as your personal pillow on longer breaks back in school. How could you forgot me?' he said with a hand on his heart.

 

Izaya blushed leaning on his backseat. Erika hearing that squealed throwing her arms up in “banzai” gesture. Walker grabbed the handles of his backpack in shock.

 

'Our boss making a joke!' the blond with a fox-face said.

 

'It was not a joke but yeah...' he placed his hand on Izaya's shoulder. 'I was just teasing, Izaya. Don't worry. I do treasure my life.'

 

'It was not funny, Kadota-san' the brunet replied with crossed arms.

 

'Now, now' he patted his shoulder still leaving his hand there. 'But I need to record the way you're saying my name now. I can't remember the last time you used it in that way' he said lifting the side of his lips in half smile.

 

'How I used to call you?' Izaya asked intrigued.

 

Shizuo was looking at the whole situation with a frown. To be precise he was glaring at Kadota's hand laying in a friendly manner on Izaya's body. He could swear that the handles still placed in Shizuo's grip bent with a squeak. Everyone looked up at him and the laughter died. Even Izaya turned Shizuo's way in his seat.

 

'Something happened?' he asked with a innocent question.

 

'Everything is fucking fine!' the blond growled and left them to go deeper into a bookstore.

 

On his way from the group he could hear Kadota's question about Izaya's condition. And Izaya's reply only made him moving faster. 'No but I'm attending a physiotherapy so in some time I do believe I'll be able to.' Shizuo was walking till he reached the final wall with a shelf filled with books. He was staring at the titles and names not recognizing them. Hell, he couldn't even recognize the kanji's in the state his mind was. He was seeing red but not the one he has seen for all this years. It was a different type. The sensation almost similar to those damn knives of flea's. He could feel the sharp piercing ache in the pit of his stomach twisting every few seconds. He clenched his teeth and leaned with his hands on one of the shelves on his face-level. He bent his head down and tried to calm down with deep breaths.

 

He didn't want this. Any of this. He wanted to stay with this innocent version of Izaya on the wheelchair unable to run from him in closed apartment without any other people interfering. Where he couldn't smoke as much as in his own home back in Ikebukuro. Where the interior of the previous cold office was filled with his attempted cooking and friendly bickering interrupted by snorts or laughter. Where the glow of the TV was illuminating the place on the dark evenings with channels for kids or a classic concerts. His head looked up with wide eyes staring at the spines of books for sale. NO! Wrong! THAT is EXACLY what he SHOULDN'T want. This thing WAS temporary. Why was he thinking something so _disgusting_ like THAT?

 

His eyes finally started to recognize the signs on the covers of books. _Psychedelic Dreams_ by Toudaimoto Karashi was filling the shelf to the brim. He picked it up straightening his body. The cover was simple with a hand reaching for a white piece of cloth- probably a shirt, with a white background. The black letters said the same title and name as on the spine of it. _What kind of book could have so many copy on one shelf?_ Shizuo opened it and on the bottom of the first page he could read:

 

_To my dream_

_That will never come true_

_Or even know about its existence_

 

 _What a dramatic fellow._ He sighed and placed it back on top of the even row of rest of them. But that inscription fitted so well. And Shizuo needed to admit- that was only a dream because even if this Izaya was his friend the one that they try to awake is his doom. _Friend, huh...?_ Shizuo sighed and turned with his back to the book-shelf going back to entrance where he had left Izaya and Kadota with his gang. Before he reached the spot he almost bumped at the person he was looking for. Izaya wheeled himself from the alley to the right.

 

'I was looking for you everywhere' Izaya scolded him. 'Look what I've found' he said excited after not receiving even a grunt of acknowledgment.

 

In Izaya's hands was a book with a big head with three sprockets attached to each other and a big title above them How to Trigger Your Memory. Izaya with a big grin made his way to the cashier while Shizuo was shuffling his feet right behind him.

 

'Fan-fucking-tastic' the blond mumbled under his nose.

 

*

 

Izaya was siting on the black, leather couch in his apartment with a new book in his hands almost in the middle of it. He was reading at the speed that Shizuo could be jealous of. His rusty-brown eyes moving line after line. _No wonder he is such a fucking smart-ass..._ With that Shizuo moved to the book-shelf on the side of the desk that took the whole wall. Every book was stuffed making a perfect line on each shelf. Most of the covers were dark or some shade of color. Shizuo frowned seeing the book with a white spine and black letters placed horizontally on top of others in the same way as Shizuo had put the Toudaimoto Kurashi-sensei's book in the store. He moved to it and pick it up.

 

'What is that?' he asked turning to the couch.

 

Izaya turned his way using the backrest. With one hand he was still holding his own piece of reading with a finger placed between the pages he was at while the other arm was hook behind the backrest so he could lean on it. With his reading glasses on he needed to lower his head so he could be able to see above the frame. He sighed with resignation about Shizuo's picking once again this particular stance like he offended him in some way. He turned back in his seat to face the TV screen with a concert of one of the classical musicians from Rome.

 

'A book, Shizuo-kun' he said opening his own reading. 'I didn't get a chance to RE-read them all. Though I haven't seen you with one so that's something to mention about.'

 

Shizuo gritted his teeth and made his way to the couch. He fell on the spot beside Izaya making the raven jump in his seat because of the impact. The rusty-brown eyes glared from behind the glasses.

 

'Do you need to always make the same comment about me reading?' he growled and stubbornly opening Toudaimoto-sensei's piece.

 

'Well, that's the first time, as I recall' he replied with a bored tune in his voice and moving his head other way to change the page he was looking at.

 

'Believe me, it's not the first time.'

 

'Good' he said still piercing the page with his gaze. ' According to this author the personality of a person after loosing their memory can change straightening' he looked at Shizuo from behind the frame the same as before. 'We are on the right path than.'

 

'Stop fucking doing that' he barked.

 

'Doing what?' he asked lifting his head up but the move let the glasses slip at the end of his nose.

 

'Doing that weird shit with your glasses' he hissed and glared at his own book looking uncomfortably with his heated chicks 'You're looking like some kind of pervert teacher.'

 

'Aww... Does Shizuo-kun have a teacher-fetish?' he laughed but after not receiving a reply the laughter only picked up on volume. 'Oh my! You do, don't you?!'

 

'Oh shut the fuck up' he said and turned his back to the other placing his elbow on the backrest and placing his head on a palm of his hand with other holding a book on the first pages with text.

 

The laughter finally calmed down and Shizuo could pay attention on the words in the book. After few first sentences he could read that the text was written in the first person probably giving the glimpse to the author's own story. He huffed but straightened the cover and completely ignoring his roommate he started to read.

 


	7. Chapter 7

_There was not question why I fell in love with her or even when. I just did. And what a sad story it was. At the first time after seeing her blond bleached hair I though that she was one of those girls who liked a lot of make-up and the tan either from some products that makes your skin almost orange or too many hours spend under UV lamps. But no. Her skin was sun-kissed by the hot summer of Tokyo. She was beautiful but not only on body but also on mind. She couldn't be real and I couldn't believe in her bueatiful soul. Humanity in it's pure form..._

 

*

 

Shizuo couldn't believe that he was ACCTUALY reading the love story. More some, he couldn't believe that Izaya HAD that kind of book among the arsenal of psychological and philosophy books. But after receiving the remarks about his reading skills he stubbornly kept reading it till he finished it just to prove that he was capable to read the whole thing and not get bored.

 

Even if the book itself was a sad love story he needed to admit that the author good get under his skin with words only. His denial of the affection caused him so much harm. And he could imagine that by deceiving the girl and later the woman he only confused her more. Every situation with his twisted way of making her a better investigative journalist after they've met once again in the same newspaper he was unintentionally pushing her away from him. Just to make her better. But to be honest Shizuo wasn't sure if making her a better specialist in investigating the yakuza group he made her less sensitive as a human than she used to be as a teenager. _Maybe that was all about?_ If she needed to survive in this world she needed to became strong. But Shizuo thought that she was strong enough with the way she could prevent the bad things with her “woman's intuition'. _All in all she needed to shoot him so the other group couldn't kidnap him and retrieve the information he gathered. And he didn't even confess to her... That was just so fucking stupid..._ He closed loudly the cover and turned to Izaya.

 

The raven was sleeping with his head leaning on the backrest, but still turned to the side making his reading glasses bend in a wired way with mouth lightly open and chin resting on his chest. The book he was reading himself was still in his hold if not slipping on his rising and falling chest with every breath. The pages bent while they were laying. Shizuo smiled softly and looked at the clock. _Almost half past three._.. He turned to the brunet once again and leaned on the backseat almost the same way as while he was reading. He reached with one hand and with a back of his fingers he pushed aside the bangs that were falling on Izaya's forehead. Orihara moved in his sleep turning Shizuo's way and with laying his side of the face on the pillow behind his back his glasses only more a missed with nose-pads on one side. The book slipped from his chest and fell onto the seat. Shizuo shook his head and stood up. He took of the glasses trying his best to not wake up the man and placed them on the coffee table. He pushed his arms under Izaya's knees and back and lifted him without effort.

 

'Time to go sleep, flea...' he whispered.

 

On the middle of the stairs he felt a strong grip on his white dress-shirt. And some mumbling. He stopped and looked down at the pained expression.

 

'It hurts, Shizu-ch... It.i...' the sleep-talking calmed down but Shizuo was staring at the frown on Izaya's face.

 

Shizuo wasn't sure how long he was standing in the same spot with unconscious body.

 

'To my dream...' the blond finally said looking up at the top of the stairs'... that will never come true, huh?' he took a step and the heavy feeling of the irony was sitting at his back.

 

*

 

Izaya woke up with the bright sun rays stubbornly atacking his eyelids. He covered his face with an arm but that didn't help neither the cover under which he hidden himself after a minute. _What... Cover?!_ He sat up and looked at the side of the bed. _No wheelchair_... At the clock. 11:37 AM the red digits could be seen on the black clock face. With a red face from anger he took a deep breath.

 

'SHIZUOOO!!!!' he yelled and called the name few times.

 

He could hear a heavy footstep on the wooden floor on the corridor. With a junk of the door almost slamming them on the wall behind them his “lovely roommate” appeared with a light hair tasseled every possible way with wrinkled white t-shirt and blond's favorite blue boxers. Izaya looked at him with a pouty face.

 

'My therapy!' he yelled once again. 'How could you not wake me up! I didn't set my alarm!' Shizuo still looking at him with a half-lilied eyes heavy with sleep was almost frozen in place. 'Bring me my wheelchair! Now!'

 

Almost as on command he turned and made his way to the living-room shuffling his feet behind him. Izaya was still looking at the open door with a frown. He could hear that Shizuo's movements were as slow as they could get. _He was doing that on purpose!_ Izaya hit his fist at the white covers beside him. He had less than twenty minutes to get ready. _No can do_... He needed to show up in the cloths he was wearing yesterday.

 

After they arrived and Izaya passed the door Shizuo was standing in the same wrinkled white t-shirt and a gray sweatpants with crossed arms on his chest in front of the glass that was showing the inside of a small room with gymnastic equipment. He was seeing Izaya siting on the mat with a woman in a teal uniform. She was pushing at the foot while Izaya's leg was bend in the knee and with his all might he was trying to push back. To be honest it was first time Heiwajima was a witness of one of those sessions. By the tension in Izaya's jaw he could see that it was tiresome and a wince from time to time- also painful.

 

 _Why you're doing that?_ His own hand tightened its hold on his biceps wrinkling the white material of the shirt.

 

He turned around and made his way to the waiting room.

 

*

 

'Mizuki-sensei is saying that I'm making a marvelous progress' Izaya said after almost two weeks later.

 

Shizuo once again was reading the same book as before, the one with a hand reaching for a white material. Toudaimoto Kurashi-sensei's work. Shizuo didn't reply. Izaya looked at the cover and then at the book-shelf.

 

'Are you even leasing to me, Shizuo-kun?' he once again moved his eyes at the blond.

 

'Yeah, yeah!' he huffed. 'You're nagging could be heard even by our neighbors.'

 

'It's not nagging!' the brunet denied heatedly. 'Friends are doing that sort of thing, you know!'

 

'Like what?' Shizuo asked throwing the book on the seat of the couch he was siting on.

 

'Like sharing the news!'

 

'Oh really?' Heiwajima raised up and made his way to the doorway. 'Then why you're not telling them that?!'

 

Izaya was staring with disbelieve at retreating blond. With mouth wide open with a shock not sure what to do.

 

'I'm telling them!' he finally screamed. 'You're my friend!'

 

Shizuo turned before the wall that separated the small corridor with a leaving-room. He placed a hand at the edge of the wall.

 

'That's not possible' he barked and disappeared behind the wall to put shoes on.

 

He could hear the rustling along the one made by his own shoes and pockets to make sure he had smokes on him. But the shuffling could be heard right behind his back. Shizuo turned with intention to yell at the persistent pest but where at the level where should be Izaya's head there were narrow hips. The golden eyes moved up and he met the rusty-brown orbs not that lower than his own. With the support of the wall without the wheelchair in the sight-view Izaya was standing on his own even with the strong grip on the white partition wall. The debt collector was looking at the man with wide eyes not sure of what he is witnessing.

 

'Everything IS possible' he said with a fatigue in his voice and made first unsure step pulling from the wall.' Shizu...' after the few steps the legs gave out.

 

Before the brunet hit the hard surface Shizuo grabed him landing in the hemp on the floor. Izaya climbed up Shizuo's body to pull himself up. His whole body was trembling but the grin of victory was on his face. With a triumph brighning his eyes he was looking at the roommate. Shizuo was looking at his eyes with disbelieve.

 

'I've won' Izaya rasped with shaken voice.

 

*

 

After that the progress was faster day after day. Izaya was making baby steps every day. And Shizuo needed to admit defeat. Izaya was recovering. And as childish as Orihara's personality was the day he would finally move freely would be a start of full hand attention. The silent and level-headed Izaya was less seen these days. He was helping the blond at the kitchen with preparing their meals. Shizuo thought that he himself was a failure of the cooking world but Izaya was even worse than him. Shizuo left for a second to the toilet and when he was back the kitchen was set on fire- literary. They were making spaghetti- nothing too hard to do. But apparently in Orihara's case the sauce started to bubble like an active volcano staining the counter and the cooker with small red spots and the noodle that were still sticking outside of a pot with uncooked part was lightened like a torch. Izaya was struggling with knobs to turn of the cooking-rings while splashing some water on the fire high enough to melt the hood above the stove.

 

'Oh my God' Shizuo said looking at the disaster.

 

'Shizuo!' Izaya turned his way with panic in his eyes. 'Do something!' he throws his arms and loosing his balance fell on his bum.

 

But not even kitchen suffered. Stubbornly using his legs and loosing his balance now and then . One time Izaya refused to use his stool under the shower and trying to hold onto something he ripped the plastic shelves with their shower-cosmetics and broke the plastic door to the shower. After hearing a loud thud Shizuo ripped the door to the bathroom open while Izaya just finished to cover himself with a rug they were using to step on to not splatter the water on tiles. He was still laying at the plastic with his arm cut at the place he has fallen and a hip with a bruise. Shizuo made his way to the laying man and helped him sit up.

 

'Why you try to stand for so fucking long?!' he raised his voice.

 

'I refuse to use this stool!' Izaya yelled back. 'Besides' he hissed at the pain in his arm after Shizuo help him on to his feet' you never put it back' he mumbled rearrange the only piece of material that was covering his dignity.

 

Shizuo shook his head with silent resignation and disbelieve. _Just like a fucking kid_... Izaya was causing him so many problems with his “crawling” that from annoying and cute it started to be “fucking pissing him off” and plainly dangerous at times.

 

One time on the “home-work” when he needed to repeat the same path from desk to couch over and over again trying to make more steps Shizuo was starting to make fun of him with cueing almost as if to the small child.

 

'One more time and I'm going to stick a pen into your eye' Izaya hissed.

 

'First thing you would need to reach me' Shizuo laughed with a bark.

 

'Oh don't you worry. One day I'm going to do exactly that' he snorted taking another step balancing with his outstretched arms.

 

Their life became a bit more... lively. On one particular day with Shizuo's day off work they were laying on sunbeds and enjoying the bright day. Shizuo was relaxing with heavy closed eyes behind his blue shades when the question priced his peace.

 

'With me walking I just cannot wait for my memories to come back! Don't you?' Izaya looked at the blond who was staring at him with unreadable expression. 'Ne, don't you want for me to regain my memories back?'

 

'If you would get your memories back, believe me, we wouldn't be laying here' he murmured and laid back down with face turned to the sun.

 

'Why would you think that?' Izaya turned on his seat still perfectly under a big umbrella to not burn his skin.

 

'You would fucking skin me alive' Shizuo huffed cursing even if more often he was leaving that kind of words after brunet's request- what has been a hard thing to “eradicate” from his dictionary.

 

'That's not true! We're friends!'

 

'Sure we are' the blond laughed shortly. 'But after that we would be back to the enemies bases.'

 

'I can promise you that!' Izaya said with this adorable headstrong attitude of his.

 

'How could you possible know that?'

 

'I don't know! I just do!' with crossed arms he throws himself back on the seat and Heiwajima laughed once again. 'You know- whatever!' he raised back and with more sure steps he tried to pass Shizuo's sunbed.

 

With a sway of the sudden and edger steps he lost his balance. At hearing the yelp of the brunet Shizuo opened his eyes only to see Izaya falling right at him. With Izaya's face smashed into his chest he helps him pull up and looked at his face. Even through his sun-glasses he could see the redness of Izaya's nose which collide with his hard muscles. Wrinkled nose and with an expression almost ready to sneeze Izaya look funny and adorable. _Stupid flea.._. He shook his head and stared at the man trying to catch any signs of pain or discomfort due to his legs. His gaze was wandering on the other's face being so close. Izaya's whole attention was on his nose trying to see it and making a cross-eyed and massaging it with one hand and checking if it's not broken. Only after a minute Izaya looked up at the blond finally being aware of the proximity.

 

He was staring at the golden eyes tinted by the blues of Shizuo's shades. He was laying flat on him with legs tangled supporting his weigh on one arm while the other without his notice ended on Shizuo's shoulder. He closed his mouth, that was still open from the shock, and swallowed soundly. Heiwajima's eyes turned at the thin lips and after a long time Izaya once again remembered those dreams where the bear was looking at him with those predatory eyes had been observing his every move. The hand that was placed on his back- _When that happened?!-_ moved and cupped the side of the raven's face with the ends of long and calloused fingers in his hair at the nap of his neck. Izaya let out the shaky breath. Shizuo bent his head forward and bare centimeters from Izaya's lips he whispered his name:

 

''zaya...' the warm breath hit his own lips heating his skin more than the early summer sun.

 

Izaya placed both hands on Shizuo's chest pushing him but knowing well that even he didn't have a strength to do that and that Shizuo pulled off more out of courtesy. Still, with hands on Heiwajima's rib cage he pushed himself up and almost tripping on his way from the balcony he gets out of the sun. Shizuo fell back on the sunbed with a huff after losing the sigh of the other man. He grabbed at the pack of smokes and with closed eyes he placed one between his lips and lighted it. After taking it back from his lips he exhaled loudly and opened his eyes only to star at the bright sky.

 

'Yup. Definitely fucking skin me alive' he confirmed his words and took one more inhale with closed eyes.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

The time passed since Shizuo forcefully moved himself into Shinjuku more than three months ago. To say that the train trip every day was a nuisance was a good description of too crowded cars of a train. He was still paying for his place back in Ikebukuro just one more payment on his bank account that was taken from it automatically right besides the fee installed by the judge for all the broken property of the city. His financial status was low but not that bad. He needed to admit that he was feeling worse and worse each passing week for not paying his own share for the apartment he was currently staying. But one time the flea said that he was an owner of it so there was no rent for this luxurious penthouse of his. Besides he didn't have guests that would knock at the closed door in Ikebukuro. To be honest he HATED unannounced guests that show up unannounced at his door. Usually those were people that were getting on his nerves. Apparently it didn't matter to him WHERE it was.

 

Shizuo was right in that moment staring at two faces way lower than his own. One was smiling with a shit-eating grin he now could only remember in his distant memories and another one was a blank stare. He could feel the vein at his temple pulsing dangerously. With a frown he closed his eyes trying to block the image of the twins standing at the doorway praying that the lack of vision would help him calm down. Mairu and Kururi used that moment to slip past him and barge inside. Shizuo felt the rush at his sides and with a shout he closed the door and turned inside running after them.

 

The twins were running around Izaya who was standing in the middle of the living-room leaning on a cane for support. He was looking a bit shocked at their guests lively saying their half-assed congratulations for his recovery.

 

'Ne, ne Iza-nii!' Mairu shouted finally stopping in front of her brother with Kukuri almost bumping into her from the sudden stop. 'Now you only need to remember and help us get to Kasuka!'

 

Nope... Shizuo couldn't be calm at the mention of his brother's name and he was well aware of the obsession of these two. With heavy steps he stormed to the twins and lift them from the hoods. Izaya laughed at the scene covering his lips with the back of his hand. Mairu glanced at the blond and then at her brother once again.

 

'Now that you two are dating we can totally meet Kasuka and see him more often!' she shouted hugging her sister not disturbed by the position they were.

 

Shizuo's eyes stopped staring at two girls and moved with a shock to the brunet in front of him who had the same expression as himself. His grip on twins loosened and they fell onto the floor. For Shizuo those words were like a bucket of ice-cold water. It was a few days past the balcony incident and Heiwajima was pushing his luck more and more each day with small things. Like for example one time seeing Izaya trying to reach a jar of tea on one of a higher shelves in the kitchen he  just stepped behind him almost touching his front to Izaya's back and picking it easily. It was a completely different thing with these two and the situation was making Izaya uncomfortable while Shizuo was feeling a small kind of proudness for the blush on those pale chicks. Even if the brunet was completely ignoring them after he had stormed of the scene. But with someone implying it that way.

 

'We are not dating' Izaya almost hissed looking down at his siblings.

 

'Oh really?' she asked slyly and her eyes narrowed in the same way as Izaya's used to do while scheming something. 'The Dollar's chat room says differently.'

 

'...cares...' Kukuri mumbled.

 

'Yeah, yeah!' Izaya said embarrassedly looking at the side. 'Like friends that care for each other. If I would be dating this man for sure I would kill him. He snores terribly! I can hear him from my own room!' at that Shizuo snapped out of it insulted “Hey!”

 

‘You’re sure, Iza-nii?' Mairu jumped on her feet almost right in front of Izaya's face. 'Would you be able to kill Shizuo-san? Neee~, I-za-Nii~' with every pause she pushed her face closer and closer while Izaya tried to pull back with clenched teeth.

 

'You brats...' the brunette hissed with a tight grip on the handle of his cane.

 

To be honest Izaya's sisters were not frequent guests in their apartment. They've been there once for a few minutes to tease Izaya when they spotted the presence of other tenant by some random items like a pack of cigarettes on the coffee table or a vest on the backrest of the leather couch, they left wishing Izaya good luck and telling him to work hard so they could finally meet their idol. After that he tried to call them a few times only to reach the voicemail. Messaging between them was more frequent that talking, almost as if they couldn't communicate with him any other way than by the texts on the device's screen… maybe that was their thing. So from time to time he could see a pesky massage with some random questions or news from the city. As if Izaya still cared about some events in Ikebukuro. He was aware that in his previous life he must have been attached to that city but nowadays his life was around the apartment in Shinjuku. Well there were those walks with Shizuo in the other city but it felt so distant. Maybe he needed to find the meaning of the place by himself rather than be guided by someone.

 

'My, my... so persistent' Izaya said with a bored tone in his voice trying to avoid Mairu's question. 'Why you try to bother me if the resource is there' he gestured at the blond who was staring at the whole scene not that far away from them.

 

The twins grabbed at each of his arms hugging them to their chests. They were smiling at their brother.

 

'You're the best without your memories!' Mairu said while Kukuri was nodding with approval.

 

They left his in a flash and started to bother the blond with one on his back and another pulling at his sleeve. The whole picture was quite funny with two teenagers all over the grown man trying to take them down without hurting them in the process. The whole interaction was almost well “played” with Shizuo trying to get rid of the twins, like it wasn’t the first encounter of them. They were saying their names with ease. Shizuo was more aware of the silent one like she was something more fragile but also dangerous in her passive movement while pulling Mairu by her hood almost knowing that if he would do something too painful to her she would start complaining loudly.

 

How many years those three knew each other to have this kind of relationship? Have they bothered Shizuo on such a regular basis that he knew them that well? They've shared their memories of meeting each other, a few conversations and actions. Izaya was looking at the scene with a small smile, his own sisters; he didn't know them, neither the man he was living with at the moment _. I'm missing something... _ he thought staring at the tall man awkwardly turning around himself to reach the girl hanging on his back.

 

*

 

At the evening Izaya was sitting behind the desk in his wheelchair that from time to time was needed after he moved too much during the day. The screen was illuminating his face. For the past few hours he tried matching the crossing from his dreams with the ones that were located in the city, without results so far. The other source of light was the turned television on some action Japanese movie with loud shouts and screams. Apparently that was Shizuo's favorite genre because he was sitting on the couch watching it for the past hour. The violence on the screen was something that made Izaya's tongue click a few times. The blond was watching the movie with a passive expression on his face as if the punches and shoots didn't bother him. Izaya was aware of Heiwajima's strength, not everyone could lift a wheelchair with such ease like him. So probably the man was the main player in some street fights as well.

 

The thought of this calm, clumsy and silent man now sitting on the couch in his living-room in front of the TV turning into the beast he had glimpsed at the beginning of their friendship, cursing, chain-smoking and screaming Izaya's name almost with the promise of... A shiver passed way down Izaya's spine.  _ That was quite unexpected...  _ The flame he could see in Shizuo's eyes in his dreams disguised him as a big animal... Izaya wanted to see that flame once again. Even if his own mobility couldn't let him tease the bear and run from him... he wanted to see it with a far longing somewhere at the back of his head and also with a dull ache in the pit of his stomach. He wanted something that he could almost feel was taken away from him. He took a shaky breath and rose from his seat and with careful steps he made his way to the couch. Only after he stopped to study the blank face of Heiwajima, he was spotted after the scene changed to the one showing an outdoor scene with a bright day captured on the record. Shizuo looked up at the brunet.

 

'What?' he said gruffly.

 

Izaya didn't reply. For a few seconds he was staring at the warm-brown almost goldish irises. Finally, with one knee on Shizuo’s side he settled placing his hands onto the backrest at both sides of Shizuo's head. He placed his left knee on the other side of Shizuo's tight to straddle his hips. Shizuo gasped trying to push himself into the pillow behind him. Izaya frowned seeing the panic in those eyes. He didn't want to witness this expression. He pushed his face closer leaving only centimeters between them. Izaya searched the wide open eyes.

 

'Hate me, Shizuo-kun. Right now you need to hate me' he pulled his chin up almost whispering the words and pouring them over the other's mouth.

 

'I...' Heiwajima swallowed a big lump that was almost choking him. 'I can't...' he murmured looking down at the thin lips.

 

'You must...' he whispered bumping him nose to nose almost with affection. 'I need to see... I need to...so maybe I could remember it...' he barely pulled away. 'I need to see that beast...' he leaned closer so his lips were teasing the other man with the proximity while he rounded Shizuo's neck with his arms.

 

Shizuo growled after the word, that was one of insults in the past. He pushed himself from the backrest hugging Izaya in the middle of his waist and forcefully placing his lips on the others. The action made Izaya lean back, depending on the strength of the hold on his back. His own fingers tangled in blond's dry, bleached hair. 

 

While his mouth was occupied he took a much needed deep breath through his nose. His fingers intertwined in the bright strands almost pulling them out. At that Shizuo growled once again and opened his mouth to bite down Izaya's lower lip with his bared teeth. Izaya gasped and let the other’s tongue pass deepening the kiss. The brunet barely opened his eyes to meet the other heated stare. The shiver once again passed down his spine reaching the point where both strong arms were placed at his waist.  _ That was it...  _ with that though Izaya pulled the other man the most close that was physically possible. The heat of the stare was familiar but the longing was still there, filling his body to the brim. He wanted this man…the  _ ‘whole of him’ _ , his attention, his words, his silence, his stupid cigarettes, his violence, his hate and his  _ love _ ... With a new determination he closed his eyes and pushed his own tongue, fighting for dominance with the blond.

 

After Shizuo saw Izaya closing his eyes and just giving himself into a moment he turned the brunet easily on the side and pushed him on the couch not leaving his lips unoccupied. He pulled his hands from underneath the body and started to roam on its sides. This man was driving him crazy-  _ always did and always will be _ . His stupid words about hating... Shizuo was tired of hating him. He was tired of waiting for Izaya to remember something that used to be some twisted obsession of theirs. 

 

He was tired of all the disappointments, every time being betrayed by someone who was finally not afraid of him. The first one that was not afraid of him. Even with people- friends- that were around him now they were still cautious of his short temper- Izaya was not. He was the one that could pull the best and the worst in him. Preferably both in the same time.

 

Shizuo left the swollen red lips and moved to the long neck with ivory skin trying to stain it with redness of nips and marks from his teeth. He could hear the deep breaths of Izaya that he wanted so desperately take with his own mouth. Shizuo placed his nose behind Izaya's ear, feeling the ends of the black hair tickling his face. He took a deep breath of that bitter scent of almonds or cherries. Oh… how he hated and longed for this smell. He needed to admit that and also that he was well aware that it was not the guilt that pushed him to run after Izaya after he has shown up two years after his absence.

He missed this bastard. He missed this meddling know-it-all fleabag.

 

'God...' Shizuo rasped nipping at the earlobe. 'Say my name...' he whispered with a almost plea in his voice.

 

'Shizuo' the other said bending his head back after he felt the tickling of lips and breath on his neck.

 

'You need to try harder' Shizuo said, bracing himself on one arm, nuzzling the column of Izaya's throat and opening the buttons of his own white dress-shirt with the other hand.

 

'Please, Shizuo-kun...' the brunette said wriggling under Heiwajima.

 

'Not that, flea... Like you used to' he demanded grabbing one of Izaya's tight and helping him hook it around his own hips getting their lower-parts closer.

 

'Shi...' Izaya swallowed clenching his eyelids tighter while his eyes were searching something in the darkness behind them and heaviness of the sensations. 'S-shizu-chan...' he finally whispered.

 

Shizuo bit the side of the neck with a pleased growl receiving a load moan. Izaya's eyes opened wide with a shock of his own pleasure. He pulled at the blond strands making Shizuo face him. He could see this fire he so desperately searched for. He could feel Shizuo's hand running up and down on his tight and the material of the opened white dress-shirt caressing his own chest with every breath the blond was taking. He placed the palm of his pale hand over the cheek

of the other man and with his thumb slowly caressed the cheek bone.

 

'I used to call you ‘that’, didn't I?' Izaya said with a shaking voice. 'I'm sorry...' he said hugging Shizuo's neck and pushing himself up so he was hiding his face in Shizuo's shoulder.

 

'You still don't remember...' Shizuo mumbled and Izaya pulled back searching golden eyes.

 

'How could you tell?' the brunet said cryptically.

 

'The Flea would never apologize to me... Ever...' the fire in his eyes dimmed replaced with a dull expression. 'I'm sorry about that...' he said untangling himself from Izaya's arms.

 

The brunet fell on the flat surface of the seat staring at Shizuo who moved to get up.

 

'I could call you 'Shizu-chan' if it would make you feel better' he said cautious of the situation feeling almost like stepping on thin ice.

 

'No. It would fucking not make me feel better' he hissed angry at himself and leaving the living-room.

 

Izaya was staring at the high ceiling with blank expression. The longing was there stronger than while he was sitting behind his desk and eating him alive from the inside. He could hear the door of the spare bedroom shut.

 

With the pad of his long finger he traced his lips. Izaya was well aware that, if not in his “previous” life, then in this one he was a greedy man. And he wanted more… more of the man that apparently was his doom in every meaning of this word. How twisted of a person he was, wishing to win a man that had almost killed him on his own request. He needed a plan...

 

*

 

Shizuo knew that Izaya was a cunning person, with or without his shitty memories. His previous teasing was stopped to get as far away from Izaya as he could. But apparently it didn't help his case. The man was almost behind every corner ready to bump himself into him almost clinging to his shirt and mumbling half-assed apology and staring at him with those rusty-brown eyes. Or just barging into a bathroom right after Shizuo was leaving the shower with even more half-assed excuses like that he didn't hear that someone was in there. The door WAS locked, for God's sake! As the situation being him embarrassing till the roof with Shizuo reaching the nearest towel and fumbling with it to cover his lower-part who was disagreeing standing up for the attention it received. And then that smirk he got from Izaya made him pick the first bottle of shower-gel from shelves in the shower and throw it at the closing door making a big dent in the wooden surface with a blueish hue on it and a broken bottle on the floor; or this one time when Izaya was getting his sweet time to wake up and leave his bed before the physiotherapy and running out of time to get ready Shizuo finally barged into the bedroom and stormed to the side of the bed. The view made him choke on air. Izaya was laying flat on his stomach with a pale slim back turned his way and the thin sheets placed low on his hips almost revealing his bare bum. Izaya raised his head from his crossed arms on the mattress and with a sleepy gaze he looked up at Shizuo humming in acknowledgement. Shizuo's eyes were staring at the almost naked ass instead of the face with imprint from a pillow on his chick and messy black hair. The only thing he was able to say was “Late” and stormed out of the room, leaving a smirking Izaya still in bed laying over his intertwined arms and with a glint in those rusty eyes that were staring at the opened bedroom door.

 

Shizuo really missed the peace and quiet from the past two months. It seems that Izaya was working by the “What Orihara wants- Orihara gets” rule. Shizuo took one more drag of his smoke and throw it through the railing on the balcony trying to calm down.

 

*

 

Izaya was sitting on the couch with his legs on the seat massaging his tights after one of the harder sessions on the therapy. At the beginning he has been excited about making a fast progress but at that moment he was plainly angered by more and more demanding exercises that were hurting him more than they used to, only to straighten his legs. Session after session he was only more assured that he hated Mizuki-sensei and her nagging. And if he could only be able to make her life a hell he would do that. With a hiss he pulled at the cramped muscles. The loudly sound of the shutting front door distracted him picking his attention. Shizuo passed the living-room and made his way to the balcony without even a word to Izaya. The door glided to the side with a dull bump and once again the apartment was quiet, at least for three minutes. After that the sound of the glass door could be heard once again. Izaya turned behind and looked up at the blond who was now passing the couch.

 

'Hey!' he shouted after the man dressed in bartender uniform. 'What is your problem, ha?!' the golden eyes tinted by the blue glasses turned his way.

 

'Fucking everything!' the blond barked and turned to go straight to his room or at least the bathroom to wash out the sweat and stress of the day.

 

'That's not an answer, Shizu-chan...' Izaya summed it up turning to the backrest and crossing his arms only to lean his chin on them.

 

Shizuo in a flash made his way to the couch and with his hands on each side of Izaya's elbows, he bent and with gritted teeth he hissed to Izaya’s face. ‘Your little mind-games don't help' 

 

'Really?' Izaya almost purred pushing himself on his knees to get higher and closer to Shizuo's face.

 

'Really!' he spitted. 'With the shit you pulled on this morning...' he stopped in the middle of the sentence.

 

'Maybe I should let you.... how would you say it so eloquently?'  he said in fake wondering.' … fuck it out of your system...'

 

Shizuo just growled at that but stayed at the same spot almost like a frozen statue not sure to let himself move or he would do something stupid. That was the worst he could do.  _ With the flea always using the fucking chance to...  _ The arms from the couch moved in a flash around his neck. The smirking face was right in front on his own. Shizuo pushed his own hands and placed than at the end of Izaya's spine who was now on his knees almost straight and tense as a string with their chest touching.

 

'Ne~ Why you're refusing yourself, Shi-zu-chan~' he purred with lust hooding his eyes.

 

_...bring the best and the worst in me...  _ Shizuo sighed loosing his battle within himself.

 

Shizuo placed his hands at Izaya's rear really close to his groin and lifted him with ease with the strength that was locked within his body. Izaya stiffed his hold on Shizuo's neck, nuzzling the side of the strong neck and letting his legs hug the blond's hips. Shizuo supported Izaya's body with one arm under his ass and the other placed at his middle back, caging his body. He turned his face and placed his nose onto the black hair. He moved them to the master bedroom.  _ Always so selfish... stupid flea... _

 

They both fell on the bed with Izaya secured in the undisturbed arms on top of Shizuo. The brunette sat up straight, looking down at the man whose hip's he was sitting on. He couldn’t stop the satisfaction of finally having Shizuo where he wanted him to be. He licked his own lip sinfully.

 

'I want to tame you' Izaya said with confidence, rising his chin up and glancing at the blond from behind hooded eyelids.

 

'You wish, louse...' Shizuo growled and sat up trapping the other body in his arms once again and attacking his lips.

 

He turned Izaya and placed him on his back still claiming his mouth. Orihara had this feeling  tightening his skin, an unbearable pull just clawing out of his body. His dull nails pierced Shizuo's skin on the neck just to pull the blond closer. Shizuo grabbed the material of his vest and dress-shirt at the same time and ripped it from his body letting the buttons fly every way. With a shadow of smile during the kiss Izaya moved his hands to the battered back clawing at the flesh there. With one hand he run down his fingers making red lines in their wake. Shizuo growled at that and moved to the pale neck biting at the place it was meeting the shoulder. The same manner he treated his shirt he did with Izaya's. He pushed the black material away from the raven's body kissing the revealed skin. With the ruined black shirt on his sides and the beast devouring his flesh Izaya could only grip the bleached strands trying to take deep breaths to not get mad from the heat.

 

Finally, reaching the hem of the black jeans Shizuo pulled his face away and with as much precision as he could master he made his fingers obey and opened the button and zip. He pulled the trousers almost lifting Izaya's lower body with the strength of the pull. The brunet's leg fell on the sides almost like he was presenting himself. With the tousled dark hair of Izaya, his unfocused rusty eyes, the ruined shirt still clinging to his hot body, the trembling legs and manhood standing proud at the show of Shizuo's inhuman strength, Shizuo knew that it was too late for them. He fell on that body covering it with his own.

 

'We will regret this' he whispered more to himself that Izaya.

 

'Maybe... Maybe we will...' Izaya answered him trying to catch a breath. ' But not now. Please, not now...' he hugged Shizuo placing his arms on his neck and hiding his face in the shoulder.

 

Shizuo understood him.  _ Yeah, not now... _ Shizuo moved his hips meeting Izaya's arousal.  _ Not now... Later... Damn it damn it... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Edainwen for correcting mistakes and pointing some things out :)
> 
> Also it took some time for us to get back to Your Beast beeeecaaaause we've gotten catch up with a new story. So soooorrrryyyy~!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost there ;) Two more chapters to finally end this story. Let me know how did you like Shizuo's parents ;)

Izaya thought of himself as an early riser. The sun picking from the window in his bedroom was bathing his whole naked body with warmth. The dark spots from kisses, teeth and fingers were scattered over his pale skin from head to toe. Marks that made Izaya think he was treasured and possessed even if for a short time. He belonged to someone finally. He belonged somewhere. Here in this bed was the place and the reason. Still laying on his stomach with his head on a fluffy pillow he turned to the other body by his side. He could feel the movement of white sheets somewhere around his hips, covering his lower parts and tangled around his legs like snakes. Izaya rearranged the pillow with his own hands under it. Sill in the same position with his view not on window but at his company now.

 

The blond man beside him was sleeping peacefully on his back with a hand on his stomach. With a calm expression, that Izaya had already witnessed after his drunkard escapade after work weeks ago. Forehead relaxed with shallow mimic wrinkles from his constant frown. Mouth slightly open and lips still a little red from kisses, chapped thanks to the dry air in the room,. The crescents on his neck and the barely visible red trails starting at his shoulders,  made by Izaya's dull nails. The wide chest with defined muscles shining warmly from a sun. The thin trail of hair down from his belly-button to the crotch hidden by the other end of the same sheets Izaya was under. Izaya blushed while staring at the white covering material, remembering the night before. 

_ * _

 

_ In the heat of moments the brunet was laying on his stomach, grabbing at the sheets with one hand and a pillow on his side with the other. Digging his fingers into the material. The hold was so strong that his digits turned white and he could swear that he almost ripped them apart. The hand that was holding to the sheet was covered by a tanned one making him leave the cover and intertwine their fingers. He could feel the heat of the other's heavy body at his back. The heavy arousal rubbing at his ass in tandem. The hot tongue tracing the column of his neck, only stopping at his earlobe, filthily sucking it. And Izaya loved every second of it. He pushed his ass in invitation. Long fingers once again entered him, teasing him and searching for this spot that was making him wild just seconds ago, before they've changed positions.  _

 

_ 'Shizuo... please...' he whispered into the mattress. _

 

It was insane _...This man was driving him crazy, so hot and bothered and so so helpless. As if he was completely at his mercy. He could almost imagine this wild animal from his dreams, feasting on his flesh and clawing inside, trying to devour his innards, getting to his bones and soul. He was everywhere. And he only wanted more. The burn in his golden eyes was dimmed by the darkness of the room. He wanted those eyes to be focused on him… only him… always…  _

_ The fingers left him, to be replaced by the tip of Shizuo's cock at his craving entrance. _

 

_ 'Izaya...' he murmured slowly sliding in with the help of his other hand. _

 

_ Orihara tightened his hold on Shizuo's fingers, screaming silently in pleasure and slight pain. Their foreplay has been long enough to prepare his body for the blond.  _ Oh my gods, oh my _... Any way of thinking has been taken away from Izaya. He was enthralled in that moment. In the sensations of rough hands on his skin, the scents of their sweat and arousal, the sounds of slick where they were connected and the rustle of sheets. He was wrapped in that moment… not in the past nor future.  _ Just here... Now...

 

_ 'Izaya...' _

 

_ * _

 

The sound of his own name was like an echo in his head. A small smile appeared on his lips. With a heavy happy sigh he pushed himself closer to the blond. He picked the arm that was placed awkwardly above Shizuo's head and laid it at the side with space enough for him to lay down. He placed his head over the blond's shoulder, one arm lying curled to his own heart and the other placed on Shizuo's belly, intertwining their fingers like in the night. He was looking at their hands with his head rising and falling with every breath of Shizuo.

 

_ Why I wanted you to kill me if we could had this... if we could had... _

 

Izaya frowned. Turbines in his head were working without him even realising.  _ If only we _ ... 

 

'Good morning...' he could hear Shizuo's hoarse voice.

 

Shizuo pulled his chin down to be able to see Izaya's face. The brunette looked up. The mere glimpse of his scowl has been noticed by Heiwajima.

 

'What is wrong?' he asked a little bit worried. 'Is it about last night?'

 

To cover his own thoughts Izaya did the only thing he was good at. Avoid. Run. He turned from the blond to face the window.

 

'Just go brush your teeth if you're going to talk to me in such a close proximity' he said matter of factly.

 

'Oh don't be like that' Shizuo reached for him hugging Izaya from the back and placing small kisses at the nap of Orihara's neck.

 

'I'm serious!' Izaya said. 'For the whole time I could taste cigarettes while we...' Izaya stopped embarrassed. 

 

'You know what I could taste last night?' Shizuo asked cocky moving his kisses near Izaya's ear. 'I could taste you. Your cu...' he was silenced by Izaya's hands who has turned in a flash.

 

'Don't say it out loud, you idiot!' he screamed with face red.

 

Shizuo laughed behind the hands covering his mouth. He opened his lips and licked the skin. Izaya jumped at that, whipping his hands clean on the stained and used sheets. Using the distraction Shizuo pushed him flat on his back,  claiming the raven's lips for a quick kiss and then pulling back hovering above the ex-informant with a shit eating grin.

 

'That was the most gross kiss in my entire life' Izaya complained with a fake pout.

 

'Liar' Shizuo accused fondly. 'You don't remember your whole life' he said leaning closer.

 

'I was talking about the past two years back.'

 

'Okay then...' Shizuo said with resolution. 'Then we need to make more new memories.'

 

With that he pushed the sheets from his own hips, throwing it on the side, uncovering Izaya in the process. He lowered his body slowly rotating his hips and hooking one of Izaya's legs behind his back. He placed his face under Izaya's chin tracing the brunette's collarbone. Orihara looked at the white ceiling for a second.  _ Why does this feel so unreal?… _ A small bit on his neck and a right trust make him close his lids covering his rusty eyes. Izaya once again fell into his sensual deep well, completely forgetting about his previous thoughts.

 

*

 

Shizuo bent over the sink in the bathroom, spilling from his mouth water mixed with toothpaste and straighten his back using the towel on his shoulders to whip clean his face while looking at the mirror in front of him. He looked down,  rising the toothbrush with the clear water still running from the faucet. He shook it few times and put in the cup with the other toothbrush. He turned off the water, placing both hands on the sides of the sink and leaning on it he looked at his reflection on more time. He turned his neck to examine the red lines and red spot on side of his nape.  _ Damn flea _ ... he chuckled and rearranged the towel for the spot to be covered. This thing between them has been going for the past few days. With nights spent in Izaya's bed instead of his “own”. So far they didn't even talk about the differences between “then” and “now”. But beside this one change everything was the same.

 

With his gray sweatpants and the towel on his shoulders he left the bathroom. He slowly made his way down to the kitchen still trying to get rid of the drops of water falling from the ends of his bleached hair. The whole apartment was silent. With Izaya probably still asleep after their second round this morning. Or maybe not... hurried steps even if mumbled by the wooden floor could be heard upstairs. Shizuo turned around to spot Izaya standing at the top of the stairs clad only in a thin piece of white sheet with both edges folded in his grip on top of his chest. The whole thing was falling from his shoulders and back, only stopping by the curve of his bum a bit lower than his waist. With an annoyed look he pulled one of his arms from his poor attempted cocoon with Shizuo's phone in his hand. He pulled his arm behind his head and thrown the cell-phone at the blond. Shizuo still looking at the flea  caught the thing and saw the other man turning without a word, disappearing behind the corner probably to sleep some more. Only after that Shizuo opened the screen and looked at it still smiling after the grumpy but adorable attitude of his... of his what?...exactly...

 

The phone kept buzzing still on the silent mode. He still didn't have a clue HOW he set it up to that mode but... nevermind. On the screen he could see his brother's name. Without a thought he answered the call and made his way to the kitchen- actually to the fridge to be precise.

 

'Kasuka...' Shizuo started right away instead of using a greeting, opening the door to the fridge and dragging a carton of milk.

 

'Onii-san. I'm at your place. Are you at work?' the younger asked with this passive tone in his voice.

 

'Oh... you're back?' Very smooth Shizuo, very smooth... He took a sip straight from the carton moving to the couch in the living-room

 

'Yes. I stayed at our parents place for a few days. They were asking about you. You're not at work.' that was a statement not a question. Shizuo was taken back by it. Just how well his brother knows him... 

 

'I'm...' Shizuo looked at the upper floor.

 

'And you haven't been at your place for some time...' Kasuka once again pointed out and Shizuo could hear some rustling like papers in the background. 'For at least two weeks...Your box is full.”'

 

'I'm at a friend's place for a while…' Shizuo mumbled placing the milk on the coffee table and resting on the cushion.

 

'Do you sleep with them?' the sudden question almost made him choke on air.

 

'Kasuka!' Shizuo snapped.

 

'Last time you had done the same thing...'

 

'That's not the same!' Shizuo mumbled looking sheepishly at the seat at his side.

 

His brother had a point. After high school when he parted ways with Shinra, Kadota and Izaya, he finally has been free from the constant harassment from the flea. He has started his first job as a bartender and with slow nights and tipsy persuasive young women there were times when he could be absent for even a week. He needed to admit that he had been quite famous among the women in that time. He hadn't been known as “The strongest man in Ikebukuro”. Even with his grumpy attitude he still was tall, young and handsome. And strong enough to lift his night playmate, shutting the door with one foot and move them to bed. And they had loved that. Night after night. That had been the main reason for him to find his own place and move out from their parents place. Night shifts and nagging questions from his mother had been slowly driving him crazy with his short temper. He still had been young so his patience was even thinner in those days. Before he had moved out, his brother has visited him at the place he was working in that time to give him those bartender suits and try to talk things out. Nothing had helped, even the talk with his brother while he had took a short break for a smoke, to have some private time. It wasn’t that he had been fighting with his parents. He had wanted to start his own life on his own terms and that way one year after he had finished his high school he had found a place cheap enough to live by himself. And for another year he was in that limbo of working, sex and days slept off only to get back to work in the night time. Until one night Izaya has showed up while meeting one of his shitty clients in Shizuo’s bar.

 

He still could remember Izaya's face when he had spotted him behind the bar while he had been leaning on the bar, talking with one of the regular girls that were there every weekend, a student of economy from the nearby college. The flea had been sitting in the lounge on the far end of the bar but still at the front of it. He could see Izaya's wide surprised eyes from behind the girl's shoulder. The old burn of rage at the pit of his stomach has been slowly smoldering back to life. That expression had stayed on that face only for few seconds till his attention has been picked up by the man he was sitting with. Then the smug has been back with a smirk deforming his lips in the way Shizuo loathed. From time to time he could feel those rusty eyes on his back while he has been working. The girl had left finally after some time feeling that he hasn’t been paying enough attention to her. Not long after that, her place on the bar stool has been taken by none other than Orihara himself. And even those two years haven't changed their relationship. They have started from the same point they had parted their ways when Izaya had vanished from Shizuo's life like a smoke from his cigarettes. Few words has been enough for Shizuo to snap and slam his hand at the top of a counter of the bar. And a few days later he had been framed in the crime of the same man Izaya had been sitting with, that night in his work-place. 

 

The rest ‘was history’ you could say... The constantly fights of theirs weren't doing him a favor to find a game at night... And being young AND horny didn't help his short temper. Only with chases as a poor substitute of it wasn't enough.

 

'Kasuka' Shizuo started with a big sigh. 'Don't worry...' he said looking up at the stairs. 'Believe me, it's not the same' he leaned forward to grab the carton and drink from it.

 

'Good. You can bring her for dinner at our parents place. Mother said to let you know that she will make one tomorrow.'

 

'What?!' he choked on the milk this time staring at the coffee table. 'I.. I can't!'

 

'You live in her place.' The straightforwardness of his brother was always putting him of and leaving him struggling with words.

 

'I... I'll be there! Alone! No need to bother her to come! Tomorrow! Five, right? As always? Yeah, I'll be there!' the words just spilled from his mouth trying to silence his brother. 'Sure! I have tomorrow off so we'll see each other tomorrow. Okay, Kasuka, I really need to go so... so see you tomorrow. Yeah...'

 

'Onii-san...'

 

'You don't need to pick me up' he interrupted his brother. 'See you tomorrow!' and with that he finished the call. After he pressed the red button on the screen he once again though.  _ Smooth, Shizuo... smooth _ ...

 

'I didn't imagine to meet you parents so soon' a way too familiar voice could be heard in the silence of the apartment.

 

Shizuo looked up at the upper floor. On the catwalk Izaya was leaning with his side on the railing. His arms were crossed over his bare chest. His hips clad only in a white towel, sitting low enough to present a prominent scar on his side with his hair still wet from the shower. His neck was marked with purple spots that made Shizuo groan in his own head with the same feeling of possessiveness that he had while he has been making them. Izaya was staring at the blond with distaste.

 

'But apparently I'm not good material for a future spouse, am I?' with that he turned around and made his way to his room.

 

Shizuo called his name a few times, but after hearing the door shutting with force he just fell on the cushions, with his head bent back while he stared at the ceiling.  _ Fucking perfect _ ... 

 

*

 

Shizuo was sitting on the side of the dining table at his parents place. He was pulling around the rest of the food on his plate with his chopsticks. His mother- Namiko cleared her throat picking his attention. He looked up at her and with the same honey-brown eyes she looked down and pointed at his plate with her chin. He left the chopsticks on the side of the plate and placed his hands on his jeans smoothing the material a few times with the palms of his hands. His mother hated his bartender suits, it reminding her of Shizuo's rebellious phase while he had moved out. He looked on the other side of the table at his brother who was peacefully taking bite after bite from the bowl with rice. On his side Ruri was sitting doing the same only to stop to pour some beer into his father's glass and with a nod Heiwajima Kichirou thanked her.  _ Perfect example of future daughter-in-law _ ... He couldn't get rid of the feeling that the couple placed in front of him were giving some kind of hidden massage for him. Even the empty place on Shizuo's left was telling him that his family was prepared for him to bring a companion. He was feeling like the whole world wanted to make him suffer after yesterday. This whole dinner was annoying him to no end.

 

After Izaya's glitzy exit he hasn't talked to him for the rest of the day. Sitting in his room or in the evening at the computer humming “yes” or “no” but without spilling a word. This cold treatment didn't stop, even on the next day.  _ And in that way my ‘action’ just ended _ …  He picked his own glass, filled with beer and took a large gulp.

 

His phone vibrated in his pocket,  still in the silent mode that was slowly pissing him off. He took it out and unlocked the screen. There was one massage that was unread. After he opened it there was this one sentence that was the last straw. “ _ How's the dinner? _ ” He could almost hear Izaya's biting sarcasm in this one sentence. He could only reply : “ _ I'm sorry _ ”. Writing wasn't his best way of communication. To be honest he was aware that any way of communication was lost to him. He prefered actions more than words. The phone vibrated once again not even seconds after he has sent his apology. “ _ Good. I'm outside. _ ”

 

Shizuo was staring at the screen and Namiko's snort snapped him from the almost trance state of his mind. He looked up at her then at the massage. “ _ Outside? _ ” and as the last time the reply was immediately. “ _ Your parents apartment. _ ” The blonde was staring at his phone for a whole minute not sure if he has read it correctly.  _ How did he…? Aaah, whatever _ ...  His mother called his name once again pulling him back on Earth. Without a word he got up and made his way to the front door. He opened the door sharp enough that the hinges protested with a squeak. And just like that Izaya was standing there with hands in his pockets of his black jeans with a pouty face, not even looking at him but at the door frame.  _ I must be fucking crazy… _ But even with this thought he outstretched his hand, grabbed Izaya's and pulled him inside. He could hear his name said by the surprised brunette.

 

‘Just shut up’ and with that they entered the living-room where the dining table was with the kitchen behind it. He sat down pulling Izaya at the seat beside him without a word. His mother was staring with wide eyes at the stranger in her house, while her husband held the same expression  as his younger son- completely unamused- while sipping the beer from a glass. His father was looking at the newcomer from the side of his square glasses. The whole place was silent only to be disturbed by the bowl of rice falling from his mother's hands. At that Izaya winced and lowered his head.

 

'And you are…?' his mother interrupted the silence this time with words.

 

'Izaya' Shizuo answered for him. 'We are currently living together' he voiced, strongly looking his mother straight at her face.

 

'Living…?' she parroted without finishing her question still in shock.

 

'Yes' he confirmed putting his arm at the backrest of Izaya's chair and taking his beer glass swallowed a sip trying to get rid of the dryness in his throat. 'Eat. It's good' he said to the brunette and keep on drinking his beer while turning his head to the muted TV on the living-room's side.

 

Orihara looked up at the blond but he was sitting straight and tense, like a string with his arm still resting on the chair he was sitting on. He then moved his eyes to the people around the table and bowed to Shizuo’s parents in silent greetings. Ruri was politely staring at her plate, taking small nibs of a steamed fish, Kasuka was staring at him but after meeting his eyes he closed his own and patiently awaited for the tension to cool down. As for Shizuo's parents Kichirou was more interested in the television turned on but muted and his wife was still staring at them, not disturbed by being caught in doing exactly that- staring with wide eyes. 

 

Picking her attention he outstretched his hand for one of the plates but before he took hold of it, he lifted his rusty eyes at her. She nodded still with her eyes focused on him. He bowed a little in the show of gratitude. He placed a piece of the meal on his own plate and while putting it on it's place on the center of the table he spotted a bowl of rice in Ruri's hand outstretched his way. With a nod he took it from her grip and put it beside his plate with fish. He took his chopsticks and gathered the grains stuck together to take a bit. At the same time Shizuo's mother leaned to her older son and with a lower voice, completely sure that she was discreet enough, asked.

 

'So you like men?' she whispered in a middle-aged gossip manner.

 

Izaya choked on that first piece while Shizuo snapped with a loud “ _ MUM! _ ”. Trying to get rid of the rice in the middle of his gullet he fetched the glass from Shizuo's grip and took a large gulp. Still trying to take a breath he loudly placed the glass on the table. Between his attempts at taking breathes, Ruri refilled the glass that he has taken ownership with more beer. Shizuo's mother clucked her tongue staring at the glass now in Izaya's hand, then she moved her eyes at Izaya’s face. She placed the palm of her hand on his cheek

 

'At least he is pretty' she huffed embarrassing both men on her side. 'What do you say, honey?' she turned her question at her husband.

 

'I'll leave to your judgment that matter' Kichirou said in a gruffy voice very similar to his older son while turning her way.

 

'Give that back' Shizuo growled and reclaimed his glass from Izaya's grip.

 

*

 

'Why the fuck you decided to show up at my parents place?!' Shizuo shouted after they finally entered their apartment and closed the door.

 

'I don't know!' Izaya replied with his hands curling into fists at his sides. 'I just did!'

 

Shizuo shook his head and made his way to the balcony to smoke. Izaya followed him but stayed inside right in the entrance. Shizuo pulled out his American Spirit's from the pocket of his jeans and from the carton took one cigarette and the lighter. He placed it between his lips and lit the end. He leaned on the railing.

 

'And why the fuck did you let me in?!' Izaya shouted trying to put a defence with being offensive even though he knew that the whole thing was his fault.

 

Shizuo turned his way, resting his back and elbows on the railing. He lifted his hand to take the cigarette and got rid of the ash only to place his arms on the metal pipe with the smoke still between his fingers. He was looking at the raven in front of him. His whole slim body was tense with mixed emotions. He couldn't remember Izaya's being so emotionally disturbed even once in the past. He took one more drag before saying anything.

 

'Because I know you for the past fucking decade. And I know that if I left you there you would have started to overthink it, only to reach some fucked up theories' he said as calmly as he could, taking one more inhale to fill his lungs with nicotine.

 

'I wouldn't have done such a thing!' Izaya stomped on his foot.

 

Shizuo didn't argue and to that Izaya needed to admit defeat. He lowered his gaze at his feet. He took a deep breath faintly smelling the cigarette smoke coming from outside. He let the tension leave his body.

 

'Actually...' Orihara mumbled. 'You mentioned a few times those dinners. You said that your brother with his girlfriend are there every time' he huffed and rested with the side of his shoulder on the frame while crossing his arms over his chest. 'I just got jealous of her...' he finally admitted quietly with his gaze still lowered.

 

Izaya didn't notice Shizuo flicking the cigarette behind himself and with three big steps making his way to the doorway. While standing there he cornered the shorter man, leaning on one side of the doorframe with his arms on the edges of the wall. He was piercing this pale face with his honey colored eyes. Izaya still didn't meet the blond's eyes, trying to avoid it at all cost and just staring at the wide chest clad in a blue dress shirt. 

 

'On our way back in the taxi mum sent me a text to not fight back at home' Shizuo murmured calmly.

 

'You were so quiet the whole time, that for the rest of the dinner I prefered to not talk to you in case you would start shouting' the brunette mumbled, sending him a glance in the middle of the sentence only to turn back to look at the bottom of the shirt in front of him. 'I think that the man from the taxi hates us by now...'

 

Shizuo chuckled and rested his forehead at the top of Izaya's head. Izaya winced at the sudden movement but looked at Shizuo almost crisscrossing his own eyes. The blonde took a deep breath.

 

'I knew you would think about some stupid shit' he finally said.

 

Izaya scowled and with his thumb and forefinger, pinched his nose.

 

'You stink' he said from behind the hand that was covering half of his face.

 

Shizuo once again chuckled pulling away from the wall. He turned Izaya his way, placed his hands at his lower back only to go farther down, placing his palms under his ass. He lifted him up, pulling the little body against his own. Izaya almost instantly placed his legs around Shizuo's hips while hooking his ankles. Placing one hand behind the blond's neck while the other started to play with bleached hair at the back of Shizuo's head.

 

'You stupid flea...' Shizuo whispered onto Izaya's lips. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well took us a while to finally write and check the chapter. I deeply apologize! Life is a funny thing with many turns so ... yeah- that XD
> 
> There's only one more chapter here- for the YB (Your Beast). Now as it's almost finished and the same goes to Sakura no Ki (check this one out also I think that the plot there is more complex than in this Fic). From now on I was thinking more about one-shots and maybe few side stories to YB and SnK after I finish it. Someone suggested to me to expaned young Shizuo (Delic mode :D) as this womenizer from the last chapter. So I'm thinking about that.
> 
> For now- enjoy :D

The day that Shizuo was afraid of finally came. Giving him two more weeks of illusion. His dream even if has come true in mere minutes shattered and changed into a nightmare. Sitting in his own abandoned apartment in complete darkness with half of his pack of smokes empty he tried to figure out how that happened. To say that Shizuo finally has found his peaceful island was an underestimate. It was so much more.  _ But not anymore _ ...

 

*

 

Izaya was looking at signs that were supposed to form meaningful words at the back of the box of painkillers. Almost nothing was making sense to him. Among the words he could identify simple kanji with numbers. He shouldn't take more than 3 during 24 hours. But the pain in his skull was throbbing and after few hours he couldn't tell where it hurt anymore. He could only say that it was all his head- the whole of it. He opened the lid, tipped the container and while shaking it he let three more pills to fall at the open palm of his other hand. He just wanted for the pain to finally pass.

 

He placed the box with pain-killers in one of the drawers in his night stand beside the bed. He gathered the blanket from the armchair in the corner of his bedroom and with his hands full of it he made his way downstairs to the living-room just in case Shizuo would be back. On his way almost at the end of the stairs he stepped on one of the dragged edges. The slippery material under his foot made him lose his balance. He pull his hands in front of him completely letting go of the blanket that slid till the last step. The dark shiny floor was coming closer or rather he was falling closer to it. The adrenaline that run through his veins only make the throbbing in his head more painful. He could see his hands connecting with the black panels and his arms bending at his elbows. The only thing he really wished for was to not feel it too painfully.

 

Everything happened so fast. His legs pulled the center of his gravity more forward while his back has bended in a bow shape. He straightened his arms after his own legs passed the rest of his body. Instead of the floor he could see a ceiling for a second only to take a glimpse of the window in front of the stairs. He felt stable ground under his feet and the world stopped spinning showing him the view from his apartment of the other shinny building on the other side of the street. In his line of his vision he could see his arms outstretched in front of him like a gymnastic athlete after their performance. He was breathing hard, every inhale filling his lungs, streaking to the point of hurting. He fell on his hands and knees with wide eyes staring at the same floor that has been promising pain with the fall from those few steps. He curled in himself trying to suppress hyperventilating.right there

 

The laugh shook his form and his back straighten while still hugging himself. He throw his head back filling his apartment with the sound of his cackling. The rush of adrenalin that filled his body was making him almost drunk. He looked around the living-room spotting the edges and obstacles of the furniture. Everything had its purpose. Shapes and heights. He got up, completely forgetting about the headache thanks to the adrenaline pumping in his veins and rushed to the backrest of the couch. He placed his hands on it and bended his legs to his chest for them to fit in the gap between his arms. He throw them in front while pushing himself to the from the couch.  _ Kash vault _ ... His feet hit the coffee table and he landed on his left shoulder, rolling on the other side of it on his feet. With the momentum he outstretched his right hand once again, grabbing the other side of the backrest of the couch and with that he pushed the muscles of his legs to jump above it to the other side.  _ Speed vault _ ... One more time he used his left shoulder to roll on the floor. Smoothly he got up and ran to the spare desk in front of him. He bounce off the floor and placed his left leg at the edge of the desktop and flipped back landing on his feet with both arms on his sides for balance.  _ And now kong vault _ ... Going with the flow he moved to his own desk jumping in it with both of his arms in front of him. He pushed himself forward with the use of the strength in his arms. He landed on his knees in his swivel chair practically hugging the backrest while the chair moved back to the window.

 

Still not letting go and with heavy breaths he was looking at the city from his window. His whole body was shaking out of practice but the euphoria that hit him almost let him forget his previous pain.  _ It was beautiful _ ... He needed to find Shizuo and tell him! He pushed himself from the chair that spin around from the impact.

 

*

 

Shizuo as always tried to mind his own business even in work. He was walking around Tom-senpai trying to stay at the side and not interfere in the talk between his superior and some scum that was drowning in debts. Sometimes he just couldn't take the bullshit that those people tried to fill them. Without him not being able to take it anymore he, snapped like a string and rushed to use his own methods to persuade the debtor. Even if in the last months he was losing his patience less and less, sometimes he just... couldn't.  _ Like right now _ ...

 

'I'm terribly sorry, Tom-senpai' Shizuo lowered his head in shame.

 

They were on the way to one of their favorite places for have a late dinner. Their day was long and the sky- even with winter long behind them- was covered in pitch black. Shizuo placed his bloody knuckles into the pockets of his dress pants. On his side Tanaka Tom only sighed and shook his head.

 

'I know you try. I'm surprised that these days you're not bashing their heads from the start. Year after year you're better' the man with dreads in a ponytail smiled. 

 

They were on his way to a familiar crossing that made Shizuo frown even more. Since Izaya's return the memories were leaving this bitter taste in his mouth whenever he was in this place. On his side Tom stopped to look at his right at a small commotion. Shizuo noticed the absence of his coworker after he went a few meters still somewhere in his head with the event from almost three years ago. He turned back to finally see the same havoc made by non other than Orihara Izaya. Izaya that was running their way with a bunch of thugs behind him. The redness on the brunettes cheeks could be seen for the exhaustion from a very long run and his legs were apparently giving out with a stumble every few steps. He ran into Shizuo gripping his vest with all his might. The gang members stopped a few meters from them with pipes and knives ready to attack. Brown eyes moved from the crowd behind Izaya to the man himself. He pushed him at arm length trying to find some visible injuries on his body. He was still breathing harshly from the long run with eyes squeezed and a frown on his face. Izaya pushed himself out of Shizuo's hold and grabbed at his head at the pain that has doubled his strength during the chase.

 

People started to gather around them in the middle of the crossing. Shizuo's frown deepened seeing the similarities to the situation he could barely remember through the thick red fog of his rage.  _ But still _ ... the thought pierced Shizuo's mind. With killing intention he was staring at the people that have chased his flea. With one hand on the side of his head Izaya looked up with a wince. He looked around finally recognizing the place that surrounds him. It was the same as in his dreams. People surrounding him in a circle with the beast not that far away from him. Hu turned around slowly recalling the buildings and the gray faceless crowd waiting for... waiting for him to die...

 

After three hundred sixty turn he faced the blond once again. The murderous look on Shizuo's face that he could see now, was the same as the golden eyes of the bear that had demanded nothing but blood. He looked at his shaking empty, bare hands... no rings... no knife... A flash on the left made him turn his gaze at the side. Flashes from phones hurt his eyes. Almost as sharp as the flash-bomb in one of the alleyes three years ago... He turned Shizuo's way stumbling back. The monster was alive and well in front of him! His plan didn't work! His calmed breathing only picked up once again at the brick of hyperventilating. The phantom of the pain at his side pierced his body and mind even without the blond Russian assassin at sight.

 

Shizuo felt more than saw that something was wrong with Izaya. From the crowd of thugs he looked again at the man. The wide expression with so much hurt in those rusty eyes was everything he needed to know... That Izaya has regained his memories...

 

'Izaya...' he said quietly trying to reach for the brunette.

 

'Leave me alone, monster!' Izaya smacked away the hand stomping back only to reach the pole of a lamp. He looked up to see the metal wide pipe of the street light. It was real! The flashes of the event only disturbed by the more or less meaningful memories.

 

_ 'You were scared when you were kidnapped, despite the fact you wanted to die in the first place and that made you mad. Now if you fought back against your kidnappers you'd be denying the part of you that wanted to die. So you decided to give up and accepted your fate. But now that you're safe and sound you're thrilled that you didn't die...' _

 

_ 'Oh yeah? To bad. I was thinking you and I could have some fun together. Now why you gotta be like that...?' _

 

_ 'Everyone lies, everyone hides things. No one makes through this life being completely honest.' _

 

_ 'I'm a info-brokers not some evil villain...' _

 

_ 'I would like to buy those matching-rings for couples...' _

 

_ 'It's always so hard to see the obvious when you are stalking someone...' _

 

_ 'So I pinned you for something you didn't do. Who knew you'd get so mad.... You know the problem with you is that you can't be swayed by reason, and that's bad... really bad.... Now let me go.' _

 

_ 'You're wrong! I'm simply misunderstood...' _

 

_ 'The only way to truly escape the mundane is for you to constantly be evolving...' _

 

_ 'Kine... I left something in my apartment...' _

 

_ 'I guess that's a no...' _

 

_ 'I wish the king pieces could fight each other. They should change that rule.' _

 

_ 'Let me rephrase it.. So you and Bartender-san are meeting to have sex? Such a lovely lady shouldn’t be interested in beastiality...' _

 

_ 'Unbelievable. One moment he's as dumb as an Ox and the next he's sharp as a whip....and it's because of this very reason that I hate him so much...' _

 

_ 'Don't be like that, Shizuo-kun...' _

 

_ 'Think you could believe in the last 1%?' _

 

_ 'Just do it, you monster!' _

 

'Just shut up! Shut up!' Izaya screamed bending with both hands in his head and screaming at the top of his lungs.

 

'Izaya... just calm down' Shizuo tried to take a step to the brunette.

 

'Stay where you are!' he looked up with his eyes blazing almost turning them scarlet. 'You used me... You used me!' he straightened his back and marched to the blond with each sentence he hit Shizuo's chest with his open palms.

 

The crowd moved away of a van that disturbed the circle of people. One of the windows rolled down showing Kadota's face.

 

'What's going on?' he shouted from the inside picking everyone's attention.

 

Izaya ran to the door and opened it with a slide sharp enough to shake the car. He made his way inside pushing Walker more to Erika's side. He closed the door and with demand to move thrown Togusa's way. The driver shuddered after seeing Orihara's face in the back-mirror and pushed the gas to get through the gathering.

 

'Izaya, what happened?' Kyohei turned in his seat to look at the back.

 

'Don't ask, Dotachin. Just get me to my sister's place... No... first get to my place. I need to pick something up before that beast would try to come back...' he hissed turning to the window.

 

'Whuaaa....  Lovers spat!' Erika shouted laying herself on Walker's laps just to get a glimpse of Izaya's face.

 

'I would watch my mouth, Erika, if I were you' the sweetness of Orihara's voice was as toxic as a snake's venom. 'With that kind of ridiculous insinuation you could hurt someone's feelings and end at the bottom of the bay' he finished with a fake smile at her.

 

She pouted and got back to her seat. Kadota turned to the front also but still kept his eyes on Izaya with the mirror at the side of the car.

 

*

 

Izaya was laying on the couch surrounded by posters of Hanejima Yuuhei on the walls. One arm was making as a pillow under his head just to get rid of the sharp edge of the armrest while the other was  laying down at his side bended at the elbow so he could have his hand holding two silver rings in front of his face.  Two shiny things were placed somewhere between the distal and middle phalanx of his index finger while he was playing with them, rubbing his thumb underside. Being a decade old they were marked with scratches here and there. Two simple bands that he bought in a street shop like those market stalls on festivals. 

 

_ He has turned the corner behind the building and jumped through the fence to hide from Shizu-chan. The other boy started to get slow after he picked his ridiculous habit of smoking. But day after day he was gaining up in the speed even with his lungs devastated by the smoke. But today it wasn't. Izaya waited a bit for the blonde to pass the alley and there he was- running after nothing in the direction Izaya has anticipated. Thank god the monster lost his lead. Izaya needed to admit that today his ankle was still sore from yesterday. He had tried to jump from one building to another to train his parkour and give a try in crane landing only to hit his ankle on the edge of the fence. Shinra had assured him that nothing was broken but still it hurts.  _

 

_ After the scream of his name could be barely heard, he stood up and turned to the exit at the other side of the alley. At the distance he could see a stand with girls and boys gathering around it. The older woman behind it was looking at the other side while presenting the pieces of jewelry for couples. Izaya almost passed her but he heard the woman's catchy speech. _

 

_ 'Matching rings for your lovely lady. You cannot get away, this catch you brought with you' she giggled at the girls blush. _

 

_ 'Tch... Useless' apparently Izaya's remark was too loud and the gathered people with the saleswoman heard him. _

 

_ 'I bet you have someone on your mind, young man' she turned his way with two rings in her hand. 'And you have such slender fingers. It would be a crime to not claim them' she cackled. Izaya frowned and without the word he left the place. _

 

_ On the next day at school Orihara was leaning on the chain fence at the roof. He linked his fingers with the metal wires looking down at Shizuo and Shinra laying on the grass at the yard. He moved his eyes from them to loops his fingers entwined. He scowled seeing silver bands on his skin from the perspective he was standing. He could hear a sigh from behind him. _

 

_ 'What's your problem, Izaya?' Kadota asked sitting on the warm cement tiles of the roof. _

 

_ Izaya turned around with a fake smile plastered on his face. He placed his hands behind his back in a cute manner. He made his way to the brunette and bent slightly his way. _

 

_ 'Why do you think I have some problems? Do-ta-chin~!' he pointed out the hated nickname only to spite. _

 

_ 'You can't stay in one place for more than a few seconds even if your life would depend on it' he said calmly knowing that the outcome of his observation would  be a payback for that hilarious name. 'And you were standing there for almost the whole break ogling someone without a word.' _

 

_ 'Ara...' Izaya's smile fell to a surprised expression. 'I'm just observing my lovely humans while they are trying to catch some vitamin D that they so much need.' _

 

_ 'By humans you mean Shinra?' he looked up at his classmate. 'Or maybe Shizuo?' _

 

_ Izaya huffed and sat on Kadota's side only to lay with his head on his lap. To say that was an annoying habit was the understanding of the year- or maybe their whole high school career. The smaller boy was doing whatever he wanted and Kadota was letting him do that for the pleasure of being the only one to point out mistakes and weaknesses of the other without threats and “accidents”. _

 

_ 'There are plenty of other students' Izaya said with closed eyes to not get blinded by the sun. _

 

_ 'That's the usual spot of Shizuo to spend lunch breaks' Kyouhei pointed out. 'And you made him the enemy number one for most of the school. Nobody is going there those days.' _

 

_ Izaya only hummed dismissing the accusation of stalking his own doom. A lonely cloud covered mercilessly the sun that has being frying them on the roof. Izaya opened his eyes admiring the sun rays that were trying to get to the surface of earth from behind the obstacle. _

 

_ 'I've been with the twins in the zoo last weekend' Izaya finally said just to change the topic. _

 

_ 'Did you enjoy it?' _

 

_ 'Yes, I did' his voice was a bit distant trying to recall the whole trip. ' There was one animal that I felt sorry for.' _

 

_ 'An animal?' Kadota looked down at the boy's head laying on his own lap. 'You felt sorry for it? That's new.' _

 

_ 'It was a bear’ he continued letting the comment pass. ‘Kermode bear if I do remember they are known also as Spirit bears. I need to admit that it was beautiful and... unique. Everyone is talking about polar bears or grizzly but this fellow...' Izaya frowned making his nose wrinkle. 'His fur was light. On the sunny day you could say that the zookeepers have dyed it. It was just sitting there on the rocks. Looking at the people with a passive stare...I always imagined that bears were more fearsome. Strong and wild.' _

 

_ 'But why did you feel sorry, Izaya?' Kadota asked quietly and the brunette looked him in the eyes. _

 

_ 'Because they've made it weak. And it shouldn't be' Izaya said with his gaze piercing Kyohei’s face. 'If I would be a zookeeper I would tame it but still let it be wild. Let it chase his own pray and let them fight with each other for the dominance. Just let them be the beasts they are.' _

 

_ Kadota hummed turning his face to the chain-fence beside which Izaya has been standing for most of their break. The bell rang and Izaya got up in a flash. _

 

_ 'I'm going. Don't wait for me. I'm leaving first' with a wave he made his way out of the heat on the roof. _

 

_ Izaya's first steps after he has left the school were to the same stall with the cheap jewelry he had passed  the day before. The same woman was sitting there on the stool probably waiting for the young students to finish their classes in a hour or two. He made his way to the table filled with bands and earrings. He was standing there alone but as every good street seller the woman looked up at the sight of any customer. After recognizing him she grinned widely making her wrinkles more profound. _

 

_ 'Why isn't it my favorite customer?' she cackled with a raspy voice probably because it wasn't used in the last hour. 'Change of heart?' _

 

_ 'I would like to buy those matching-rings for couples' he said trying not to feel awkward, showing confidence. _

 

_ 'I bet you would like to do that' she giggled covering her lips with a cross-words magazine. 'What metal?' _

 

_ 'Silver? Or something similar to it' he corrected himself after he realized that probably nothing on this table was made of some worthy ore. _

 

_ 'Size?' she asked once again roaming with her eyes on the bands on the left. _

 

_ 'I could try it on' he suggested feeling more and more sceptic about his plan. _

 

_ 'And for her?' she asked taking out one ring that could match his fingers and passing it to him. _

 

_ 'It's... I would like to have exactly the same' he said taking one from her and putting on his ring finger. It was way too big for it to stay there. _

 

_ 'So you don't know' she assumed without him saying anything. _

 

_ 'Aren't you a clever human being?' he said playfully in his famous way of putting people of. ‘I just felt like adding some shine to my person and it wouldn't hurt my image. So you can hurry a bit and give me the other one.' _

 

_ She clicked her tongue and flipped over the other silver band in the same size that Izaya caught in the middle of the air. He put it on on the other ring finger and throw some bills on the stand. She put the money into a pocket while he outstretched his hands to admire the two new rings. _

 

_ 'That's sad' she finally said after she has taken her place on the stool with a cross-words magazine on her knee. _

 

_ 'What's sad?' he looked at her from the corner of his eyes. _

 

_ 'To buy matching rings for couples only to wear them by yourself' she sighed filling some brackets. _

 

_ 'Oh I couldn't have done such a thing!' he said almost theatrical placing one of his hands on top of his heart. 'I do love humans, all of them. I couldn't be committed to one of them.' _

 

_ 'Some people have less humanity than animals' she huffed.' Believe me, I know that more than anyone.' _

 

_ 'Than they're beasts from the depths of jungle, simple as that.' _

 

_ 'But some wild beasts can be more kind and caring than the men hunting for them' she hissed resting her arms on the cross-words and leaning on her knee. _

 

_ 'Then I'll be one of those men' he chuckled placing his knuckles on his hip like one of the model on the runway. _

 

_ 'And why's that?' she asked suspicious. _

 

_ 'Because I cannot let this beast to forget one important thing?' a brow was lifted by the woman  silently asking for him to continue. 'Its instinct.' _

 

Izaya tried to put one of the rings on his ring finger. Just like on that day beside the street stand the ring was too big for him. He hadn't said anything because deep down he hoped that it meant that the size would be good for the ring finger of the other person. He took it off and let it join the one that stayed on the tip of his forefinger. He pulled his hand to his face and touched his lips with them.

 

Oh how Izaya was wrong in that time during his conversation with the old lady. Through years he concluded that the modern era corrupted humans and let them lose their humanity and the instincts that where the essence of it. Compassion, sympathy or generous behaviour were long lost to them in the times of peace and the word “human” now only mean a specie of mammals on the Earth.

As Todaimoto Kurashi he wrote enough essays and books about humans behaviorism and psychological aspect, to know that the thing he was looking for extinguished somewhere in the evolution and the people in his life only confirmed his theory. Everyone except one. The only one with true violence, caused by his short temper (that in reality was the manifestation of the emotion pure, without the stains of social boundaries) and a limitless power given to any human being but without the self-preservation to avoid damaging one's body. A man that didn't lie or over think any matter to gain some profit. The one who was THE human that was known to the world in its first and purest form eons ago. Under his pen-name, he wrote his last essay about...

 

'Oh no...' Izaya's eyes widened.

 

He remembered that Shizuo actually had read one of his book under that name. The only one that was his moment of weakness, not long before he set his plan to expose the blond as a beast in human flesh.

 

'Iza-nii...' Mairu whined appearing from between his sprawled and his bended legs. She throw herself on his chest demanding attention like an overgrown cat. Kururi was not farther behind her, hugging his neck from the behind of the armrest.

 

'I still didn't forgive you, you two' he murmured hiding behind his bored mask. Kururi rubbed her cheek to his own while Mairu placed her chin on his sternum making him wince in pain.

 

'Nii-san is back with us' Kururi mumbled into his ear letting go of half said sentences in the privacy of her home.

 

'It doesn't matter, Kururi. I know it was your idea, you little devil' he hissed barely turning his head to see her.

 

'Don't be a meany to Kuru-nee, Iza-nii' Mairu started to wave her legs back and forth in a childish manner.

 

'And you helped her, Mairu' he turned his eyes at the younger twin and to that the teenager shrugged in indifference.

 

'But Kuru-nee's plan worked. It was Shizuo-san that triggered your stupid brain to unlock your memories' she pouted.

 

'I would say it was re-living the place and the moment rather than a person' he gruffed annoyed. 'Still, how you could let me live with that monster!' he snorted at their idea.

 

'It couldn't be THAT bad' Mairu snickered and this time placed her elbow of his rib cage and placed her chick on knuckles.

 

'Something happened' the older one stated staring at the hand laying on his chest and more precisely on rings on Izaya's forefinger.

 

'Kururi...' Izaya hissed in warning.

 

'Was Iza-nii a naughty boy?' the girl with ponytails grind as a Cheshire Cat but it the smile fell when she has seen that Izaya was glaring at the backrest of the couch. 'Oh my! You did not!' after not receiving any answer she squealed and throw herself at him. 'Soooo cooool~ Now we can meet Yuuhei on a family gathering!'

 

'Stop that, you pipsqueak!' he pushed at the top of her head to get her off of him.

 

'That bad?' Kururi's monotone voice made him stop their struggle. Izaya once again turned his head her way barely seeing her. 'We'll help you, Onii-san' at her sister's words Mairu nodded and pulled back to sit straight on Izaya's stomach while Kururi's arms moved from around his neck to slid down on his chest. 'We can help you forget him' she murmured into his ear.

 

'We are old enough now' Mairu only confirmed with determined nod and leaning above her brother.

 

'Youuu...' Izaya's brow ticked in annoyance. 'I don't know what you've been doing while I was away but you know that it won't work on me' he hissed. 'Besides I don't want to forget anything. It didn't turn out too good last time.'

 

'You're no fun, Iza-nii...' the youngest of the siblings whined falling face first on his chest.

 

'Will you play with Shizuo-san?' Kururi asked almost whispering into his ear.

 

'Not sure...' he answered letting a heavy sigh pass his lips.

 

'Would you like to?' she pressed father.

 

'Not sure either...' he looked down on Mairu slowly stroking her head. She was looking at them with her face placed on her hands.

 

'But you can't run again!' the younger snapped finally getting off him and running to the bathroom loudly shutting the door.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Everyone!
> 
> So it's the last chapter. I'm going to put some side-stories to it in one-shots. The first one is going to be about Shizuo as a bartender and his "reunion" with Izaya after graduation (no more spoilers! :D)
> 
> More over I've done this AMV. It's not Vegas Pro quality but still please enjoy it. It's Izaya's point of view and preparations to the final fight.
> 
> https://youtu.be/WcOI4RmSb_g

It was really hard for Shizuo to get the agreement of his landlord for him to live in the same place with his payments being so irregular. He had told him that it was a family matter and the man has nodded  sympathetically . He was sitting on the couch in his own tiny apartment. Nothing fancy, like the leather sofa in Izaya's place, just a big mattress that could be fold in three and with a comforter on it could pass as one. He had bought it in case he had visitors. A practical thing but no one has used it for a long time, a really long time. On the side of it were his bags and backpacks with his belongings still sitting unpacked. He didn't need to wait for Izaya, or even meet him, to know that he was now unwelcome in Shinjuku's apartment. 

 

On the entry was a wooden board with “Home Sweet Home” written, given by his mother Namiko for them on their second visit three days ago. His parents were always quick to accept anything that was happening around Shizuo. So they had showed up two weeks later after the big introduction, at least his mother was quite persuasive and demandant for them to show up.

 

*

 

_ 'I don't accept “no” for an answer!' she barked in a way similar to Shizuo but without the same gruff in the tone. 'Pass to Izaya-kun the phone! He's more reasonable than you!' _

 

_ The vein on Shizuo's temple started to pop dangerously and his grip on the device tightened making it crack under his fingers. He loved his mother, he really did, but sometimes she crossed the line where he was ready to explode with all her nagging or the over-protectiveness of her children. And even if it really annoyed him the anger was quickly replaced by the feeling of guilt at snapping. But every time she was unfazed by it only clicking her tongue in habit of being disappointed with eyes narrowed at the bad behaviour of a child of her's. But still she was his sweet mother almost fifty years old housewife and with all the attention on her offspring. Every Time the school has been calling his parents she has been the one answering the phone and apologizing for the destruction he had caused. Long days in the hospital with broken bones that made him lay still and she has been there, the whole day, to keep him company. How could he be angry with her more than mere seconds? Still... sometimes she was like a fly that you couldn't get rid of... _

 

_ 'Izaya-kun! Can you hear me?' she shouted making Shizuo pull the phone away from his ear to not damage his ear-drums. 'Izaya-kun!' and one more thing about her that she was as stubborn as her oldest son. _

 

_ Her yelling kept going with the blond glaring at the cell-phone. He knew that rudely ending the call would mean his own death sentence. He intended to wait a little for her to get bored. But the shouts were getting louder and picked Izaya's interest, who was passing slowly to his desk. _

 

_ 'Is it my name that I can hear?' he murmured eyeing Shizuo from the side. _

 

_ 'Yeah' he gruffed with his brow ticking in annoyance. 'It's my mum. She's quite fond of you, apparently.' _

 

_ 'Give me that' the brunette in a flash took the phone and stopped the banshee on the other side with simple greeting. He moved to the swivel chair behind the desk. _

 

_ 'Hey! Give that back, you fucking flea!' Shizuo leaned on his hands on the seat next to him. _

 

_ Izaya still in the middle of the conversation glared at Shizuo with a frown and showing him that he didn't care about his demands turned back the chair in attempted of shutting Shizuo out.  _ The flea and the fly...  _ Shizuo growled in his head. True masterminds in tormenting him. He could hear Izaya chuckling and humming from time to time in confirmation of whatever they were at. The whole conversation lost to him due to the distance and nonverbal answers. He turned to the muted tv that was showing some news on the screen. He crossed his arms on his chest and tried to focus on the information at the bottom of the screen. _

 

_ Not long after his vision was blocked by hips clad in black jeans and a yellow cell-phone pulled into his way. He looked up at the smug face of his... roommate? Lover was still hard to pronounce even in his own head. He didn't reach for the device nor he moved an inch from his rebellious posture. _

 

_ 'Oh stop with this sulking' Izaya huffed putting his finger on Shizuo's forehead to smooth the wrinkle. _

 

_ 'So what did she say? Was she disappointed?' he murmured grabbing the phone and placed it beside himself. _

 

_ 'No. Why?' Izaya asked surprised. _

 

_ 'Probably she started to prepare everything this morning. The meat will go to waste with only four of them.' _

 

_ 'Shizuo-kun' Izaya said with a frown. 'We're going' he stated with serious voice. _

 

_ 'We're WHAT?!' he yelled. _

 

_ 'Oh don't be like that...' Izaya said changing his demeanor to as calm as he could, almost approaching him like barking dog. 'It would be extremely rude, don't you think?'  he placed both knees on Shizuo's sides placing his hands on the blond's shoulders to sensually move them to the nap of the neck. 'You were neglecting them this past months. Oh yes! She told me that! Such a naughty son...' he purred hugging his neck and pulling his face closer. _

 

_ The close distance was making him uncomfortable in his own skin. The heat of his skin on his own neck and the added weight on his hips were distracting him from the previous frustration. He needed to admit that it didn't matter in what manner and with what outcome, the flea always could make him do what he wanted. Every reaction, every emotion. In the past or in the present. _

 

_ He put his own hands on the slender hips pulling himself from the cushion of the couch. The hands from his neck fell loosely on his back and the flea leaned teasingly with one shoulder higher turning his head and laying his chick on it in a seducing way. His rusty eyes casted in shadows due to half lifted eyelids. His lips curved one side in a playful smile. Shizuo placed his arms around a thin waist pulling him flush to his own chest. Even with Izaya's advance in height thanks to him sitting on Shizuo the high between them was barely even. Oh how he lo… loathed this bastard. He nudged Izaya's nose with his own and moved mere centimeters away to look him in the eyes. Izaya's gaze fell down onto the blond's lips with his own opening in a silent moan. _

 

_ 'We are not going to my parents place' Shizuo murmured into Izaya's lips. _

 

_ Izaya whimpered and rounding his arms around Heiwajima's neck he pushed his pelvis closer to Shizuo's groin. He moved one of his hands to the back of the blond's head to start combing the light hair with his fingers. He moved his lips near Shizuo's ear. _

 

_ 'Your mum's kasutera is pure magic' he whispered sensually and Shizuo shuddered at his words. _

 

_ 'You liar. You barely ate it. And since when do you like sweets?' he growled unbreakable. _

 

_ 'I don't but you do'  Izaya chuckled rubbing his face into the side of Shizuo's neck. _

 

_ Shizuo moved, pulling away his face to look into Izaya. _

 

_ 'What is with you trying to break into my parents house?' he asked seriously. 'It's not about you being jealous of Ruri-chan.' _

 

_ 'It's just...' the whole seductive appearance dropped off, showing the uncertainty of the other man. 'It's nice to be with you guys' he moved away from Shizuo untangling his arms from around his neck and hugging himself at the end. 'It's really nice to see your family. Talk, eat and ... all.' _

 

_ Shizuo blinked once, twice. To be honest he haven't seen anyone from Izaya's family since he had came back. And he didn't count that one time when the twins annoy them. Maybe Izaya lacked the warmth from the time with his parents? But he wasn't sure if the Oriharas where a gathering family type. With they being nowhere nowadays he wasn't sure if they were even close with each other. _

 

_ Shizuo moved his eyes at the brunette sitting there with his own eyes looking at the side with a grimace on his face. He hugged him, trapping him in his hold. He didn't want for have his flea thinking about some shit. He turned to his ear. _

 

_ 'You need to bribe me to let you in there' he growled nipping at his earlobe. _

 

_ 'That...' Izaya gasped. 'That could be arranged.' _

 

_ Oh how Shizuo regretted that he let Izaya do him in exchange for letting them go to their parents house. Through the whole dinner he tried to shut his own lips, constantly sipping beer from his glass. This time his mother placed Izaya at her side, chatting with him the whole time. She had not problems with revealing the most embarrassing moments from his life. Like when he had been laying in the hospital with his hip bone broken and had refused to use the bedpan and had tried to hold it as long as he could only to pee himself in his sleep. The glass in Shizuo's hold shattered while the two of them giggled like gossiping teenagers. His father looked at the charades and bent over the table to fetch a new clean glass to place beside his son's plate. Ruri refilled his glass and then moved to the kitchen to get a broom and dustpan. _

 

_ And the best was only ahead of him. His mother made Izaya her personal helper and with all the empty plates they went to the sink to place them there only to start move around the kitchen in sync. She took dessert plates while Izaya with triumph written all over his face and with a baking sheet high in front of him like a trophy, walked right behind her, placing it in the middle of the table. Everyone took a piece of kasutera, everyone beside Shizuo who was still in a foul mood. Izaya took a slice with his dessert fork and moved it in front of the blond's face.  _

 

_ 'I told you. Magic. Now Shizuo-kun. Say “O”' he teased with a smirk. 'Open your mouth' he said innocently. _

 

_ He could hear his mother laughing at he being treated like a child- in her eyes. Ruri with his brother were staring at them probably more catching with Izaya's joke. While his father with a side of his lips lifted was staring at the tv.  _ Oh my god. _ His whole family was witnessing this embarrassing pervert joking in that kind of way. He knew that this was his punishment for turning Izaya into a moaning mess yesterday night as a “bribe”. He could remember telling Izaya to be a good boy and open his lips to wet the blond's own fingers and for the brunette to say it was not fair. Shizuo took the challenge and bit hard bending the fork with his teeth in the process. Stubbornly chewing he crossed his arms on his chest but refused to take his own slice. Izaya pulled back the bended silverware to examine it under his rusty gaze. He clicked his tongue in the same way Shizuo's mother tend to do and the vein in Shizuo's temple, was only defined more. _

 

_ After they made their way again to their apartment, Shizuo let Izaya get in first making his way right behind him, to grab him and throw him on his shoulder. He could hear the clatter of the wooden sign, present from his mum to their apartment, fell from Izaya's hands to the floor.  _

 

_ 'What are you doing?' Izaya hissed from behind him. _

 

_ 'Oh shut up' Shizuo said matter of factly slapping his open palm on the perky ass beside his head and leaving his hand there. 'You were a fucking pest the whole fucking night.' _

 

_ 'I just couldn't help it' Izaya giggled earning one more slap. 'Hey! It's not my fault that you're so easy to mess with!' Shizuo smiled silently even with Izaya trying to wiggle from his hold. _

 

_ Shizuo moved them to the bedroom and with a shrug of his shoulder he throw Izaya on the bed. Still standing he was looking at his prey from behind hooded lids. He pulled at the knot of his tie and after a few pulls to loosen the binding he removed it in one go. With the tie still in his hand he unbuttoned his dress shirt and before he pulled it from his back he placed the tie between his sharp teeth. Izaya was almost this whole time staring motionlessly at the show, only snapping from it when he felt his own body move due to the deepening caused on the mattress when Shizuo placed his knee on it. He sat up and grabbed the back of the small collar to pull his shirt out in one go. After the world was uncovered by the fabric, Shizuo was in front of him with his teeth bared in a predatory way and the black tie still between them. Shizuo grasped the black shirt and throw it away on to the floor. He took his hands and with a few circles around the thin wrists and one around the loops he tied a knot. Izaya looked up at his tied hands above his head completely losing focus on the man that overpowered him. His attention was picked again by the arm around his waist and the other on his side and before he was aware of his surrounding, he was moved forward to the head of the bed and turned around onto his stomach. Then the sharp pull on his arm by the biding made him move them closer to the headboard attached to the bedstead. With the two remained ends Shizuo tied them two times behind one of the bars.  _

 

_ Finally happy with the outcome he got his own body flush to the others back and his moves were calmer. His hands moved from the knot, down Izaya's hands and arms, only to go down on to the front of his chest. With one hand on Izaya's thigh and an arm across his hips, he pulled him against to his own groin for the brunette to feel his own arousal. Izaya gasped unwittingly pulling at the tie, stretching the material. Shizuo moved his face to his ear. _

 

_ 'I asked you yesterday to be a good boy' he gruffed making Izaya shiver. 'And tonight you were really, really naughty.' _

 

_ 'Watch out, Shizuo-kun' Izaya rasped but still sounded smugly. 'Somebody could hear that bad mouth of yours and offer you a role in porn.' _

 

_ Shizuo growled, moved his hips slightly and with the hand still on the others thigh, he slapped him on the asscheek. This time Izaya gasped and used the headboard as support, to not fall face first on the pillows.He throw his head and bit his lip trying to not let the moan pass. Shizuo smiled knowing that Izaya would not see it. He placed his lips on the nap of his neck and moved lower and lower after he reached the middle of his spine he started to unbutton the dark jeans pulling them down. When the fabric was slowly uncovering the perfect ass he was almost there with his mouth. _

 

*

 

Shizuo moan loudly letting the shudder run through his body. His face was laying on the arm that was leaning on the tiled wall of the shower. He was addicted and he knew that. Even in the situation he found himself, the mere thought of Izaya and his body was reducing him to this wild animal craving for the man. That happened barely two night ago and now he was here. Standing alone in the shower of his own apartment in Ikebukuro. The hand with remains of semen, hit the wall with a fist just beside his head. He could hear the sound of cracking tiles and small pieces falling on his bare feet. He pushed back and with as less moves as needed, he washed himself. He reached for a towel and started with drying his hair and upper body. Then with one step he place his bare feet on the rug. The white fluffy towel was tied on his hips and with that he left the bathroom leaving the mess in the bathtub.

 

He stepped onto the corridor. Something wasn't right. The lights in the whole place were turned off. Slowly he moved to the living-room- nothing, kitchen- nothing, bedroom- noth... With his back turned to him, in the middle of the room was standing a man with a coat covered by fur on its edges that Shizuo thought would not see ever again. The intruder turned around with his face hidden by the hood. His hands were hidden inside the deep in pockets of the coat. Shizuo reached slowly for the switch and with a flick of his finger he turned the lights on. With the better vision he could see the blank face of the man he lived with for the past months. For Izaya the bright light made him see Shizuo in his half naked glory with only a towel covering his narrow hips. His rusty eyes went there without him even realizing it. The memory of what exactly is under there, made him lift his eyes back to his face with a frown.

 

'I would like to say it's lovely to see you but I can't' Izaya said in the same confident voice from before, from two years ago.

 

'Izaya...'

 

'Don't Izaya me!' the brunette hissed pulling of the hood. 'From every preposterous thing you could have done, you decided that ‘playing house’ with me was the right one?!'

 

'I did not ‘play in’ anything!' he screamed back.

 

Second later Izaya was in front of him with a knife on his neck. Even if it wasn't at flash speed as it has used to be, he was still quick. Quick enough to place a weapon on Shizuo's throat. The blond lifted his chin higher trying to avoid the sharp edge.

 

'Don't lie to me!' Izaya yelled losing his composure.

 

'You know I don't lie. I'm not like you' Shizuo growled. 'At the beginning I thought you've done just that. Lied to everyone about you not remembering anything.'

 

'What made you sure that I haven't?'

 

'I don't know! I just knew...'

 

'You stupid protozoan...' Izaya whispered.

 

Shizuo felt how the knife didn't nip at his skin as a second ago and he used that to pull his head, grabbing the wrist with his own hand, making it almost drop the switchblade. He shoved the smaller man and turned him to the wall pinning him to it. The hand with the knife was trapped against the wall with his other one right above his head. With his own hips he secured Izaya's just in case if the brunette would try to kick him on the groin. In the process the towel slipped down his own ass to stay stuck between them. Izaya looked down after feeling the added material to the side of his leg, only seeing a glimpse of the bare sides of the man overpowering him. 

 

'And now what?' Izaya asked looking up and glaring at the blond. 'You will punch me? Kill me?'

 

'I told you' Heiwajima hissed. 'It depends.'

 

'On what?'

 

'On your answer' he stated calmly, without moving a millimeter, steady as a rock. 'Why Izaya?'

 

'Why what?'

 

'Stop being a smart-ass, you fucking fleabag! You surely remember!' he spat at his face but after not getting any answer he took a deep breath to calm himself and with a straight face he pierced Izaya with his golden eyes.' Izaya... Why you've tried to make me kill you?'

 

Izaya froze and his eyes widened. To hear the same question but with his memories was different that so many weeks ago when he was completely oblivious. The emotions from the days before their final fight were like a too strong cocktail drank too quickly. The high of feeling invincible with his plans going in the way he had predicted, the old hurt at the mere sight of the blond debt collector surrounded by new people that grew attached to him, his own failure at his attempts to show to his lovely humans the monster in Shizuo, only for him to prove each time that he was more human than anyone Izaya had met. And most of all denying himself the thing he longed for and fall into the depths of his own regrets.

 

The same golden eyes that at the beginning of his stay back in Shinjuku has been haunting him in his dreams. The same longing that he had felt one day behind his desk just before he has made the move on the blond. The loneliness he had felt that last time right before the final hit leaning on the lamp post in the middle of Ikebukuro. Why he had survived that night? Why he still needed to feel the same despair?

 

'To...' he swallowed trying to stop his voice from shaking.' To stop loving you' he whispered but due to the silence around them for both it could be heard as clear as a shout.

 

'Wha...' the question died in Shizuo's throat and his hands fell to his sides.

 

'You were my dream that would never come true or even didn't know that even existed' Izaya quoted the same words he placed in the introduction of his book, while pulling his hands to Shizuo's face. 'I loved you for years' he moved his thumb on Shizuo's chick. 'For all those years' the confession made Izaya spill silent tears. 'And I hate us for that. You and me. For making me feel that... weak...'

 

'You stupid bastard' Heiwajima grabbed his thin wrist.

 

'Will you kill me now?' he asked with a shaking voice lowering his gaze. 'Just let me go. I don't want an audience to prove something you're not. I just want to finally not feel it. So...' Izaya took a deep breath looking up at Shizuo's frowning face and eyes reflecting anger. 'So just do it.'

 

'For someone so smart as you claim to be you're the stupidest...' he didn't finish and with a sigh he separated himself from the small body.

 

He pulled Izaya away from the wall and using the same momentum throw him on the bed. Izaya landed on the hard mattress with a wince. He looked up at the blond who was standing at the middle of the bedroom with the towel around his feet. The blond moved slowly to his way and even if Izaya has asked for his own end, the primal instinct made him move back to finally reach the wall, pressing himself against the corner. Shizuo got on the bed and slowly like an animal made his way to Izaya. He trapped him between his arms with the palms of his hands placed on Izaya's sides. He pulled his face closer almost making their noses touch.

 

'I hated you, because I've always known that you were going to be a hand-full' Shizuo murmured remembering the day he had seen Izaya in their school groundyard. 'I've known that you wouldn't leave me alone like everybody else.' The blond hands slowly were going down against the wall  'And I haven't been wrong, have I?' Not receiving any other answer than a small glare. ', Izaya. You can hate me. You can love me' he placed his hand under the black shirt moving closer. 'But be mine' he whispered into his lips.

 

Izaya's hands placed at the back of his head were everything that Shizuo needed as permission to kiss his stupid flea.

 

*

 

The early sun tried to get through the curtains into the small bedroom. On the narrow bed Shizuo was laying resting his back on the wall with only a pillow behind him and smoking one of the last cigarettes of the pack. The lump on top of his chest stirred and lifted up only to reveal a dark mop of hair.

 

'Are you finished?' Izaya gruffed, his voice muffled by the covers hiding most of his face.

 

Shizuo looked down taking a drag on purpose to exhale right in Izaya's bunker. Struggling with the comforter Izaya sat straight on Shizuo's stomach with a glare. His lean body was nearly glowing in the daytime with a scar at his side telling the story of the almost committed crime. With the mission accomplished in irritating his lover, he extinguish the ember of the cigarette in the ashtray on his nightstand. He joined Izaya and with his arms around him let them fall back onto the bed. Izaya bit him in the pectoral in revenge.

 

'Stupid flea' Shizuo growled.

 

'Stupid Shizu-chan' Izaya pouted.

 

At that Shizuo smiled gathering the man closer to his chest.

 

'My, my... what a cuddly bear. For sure you snore like one' Izaya teased with a smirk.

 

None of them said anything, finally leaving Izaya with nothing more than to get up and lean on his arm.

 

'Ne, Shizu-chan...' the brunette started making circles on Shizuo's chest with his finger.

 

'Hmm...' Shizuo acknowledge with a sound and opening one eye to see the struggling man.

 

'I've got something for you' he said finally taking off the ring from his left hand. 'I need some collar on you' he smirked.

 

He grabbed Shizuo's hand and straightening his fingers of the right hand he tried to put the band on the ring finger, only for it to stop in the middle of it. With a frown he looked at the finger as if it offended him personally. He tried it a few times as if the share amount of his determination would let the metal pass the bone. He took it off and with a put he turned to Shizuo and fell on his side. Shizuo laughed at the childish behavior and leaned on his own arm and put the other around Izaya. He took his hand in his own and with a shear force opened it. On the palm was sitting the silver band marked by scratches and matching the other one on Izaya's hand. He put his pinky into a loop and with a help of thumb slide it till it passed the last phalanx. He straightened his arm to show Izaya the end result. He kissed the side of his head.

 

'Deal' Shizuo said.

 

'Just don't imagine that just because we...' he stopped not ready to acknowledge their status. 'Just don't imagine that I'll get easy on you.'

 

'Of course' Shizuo chuckled pushing his hips closer to Izaya to show him how happy he was.

 

'What?!' Izaya turned his face to him. 'I could hear you yesterday under a shower and right after that we just... and now?!' he yelped. 'What are you?! A beast?!' the redness dusted his cheeks, feeling the repeated motion of Shizuo's hips on his ass.

 

'Yeah...' he admitted with a nip at the pale slender neck. 'Your beast...'


End file.
